The Floating Midsection

Things to See in Seattle

2012-02-12T17:41:00.000-08:00

We just got back from Seattle. This time for pleasure.

We actually got to see some sights. With only a long weekend, we hoped to see the Space Needle, Fish Market and the first Starbuck's.

Check, check and check. And then there were two more days...

If you ever make it yourself, here's a few things in Seattle worth checking out:

The Space Needle

The following are various views from the top of the Space Needle:

Pike's Place Market

The first Starbuck's

The Farmer's Market

The Fish Market

Bill Gates' house

The Sleepless in Seattle house

Seattle cityscape from a boat

A boat from The Deadliest Catch

But the best time was spent with family.

Katie driving the boat!

FARKLE!

The Mad Men Project

2012-02-08T20:49:00.000-08:00

After being turned on to and flying through Mad Men, I thought to myself, "Jeez, how many times did Don Draper smoke in the first four seasons?"

So, how many times does Don Draper smoke in Mad Men? I decided to watch it all over again and keep a running tally. Four seasons, 13 episodes each at 45 minutes a piece.

While we were counting, we added more items to track to make it worth while. We answered, "How many times does Don Draper drink in the office?" and "How many times do the Man Men sexually harass the women in the office?" We even provided "How many women does Don Draper sleep with?"

BUT FIRST...

Parenting Tip From the Drapers #1:
Should your child come into the kitchen with a plastic dry cleaning bag over her head, this is a perfectly acceptable response:

(via Betty Draper) "If the dress from that bag is wrinkled at all, you're going to be in big trouble. Now go make sure your [baby] brother didn't climb out [of his crib]."

How many times does Don Draper smoke in SEASON ONE?
Episode One - 6 times
Ep. Two - 9 times
Ep. Three - 6 times
Ep. Four - 5 times
Ep. Five - 4 times
Ep. Six - 5 times
Ep. Seven - 9 times
Ep. Eight - 3 times
Ep. Nine - 3 times
Ep. Ten - 2 times
Ep. Eleven - 3 times
Ep. Twelve - 4 times
Ep. Thirteen - 4 times

TOTAL = 63 times
Per Episode Average = 5 (Once every 9 minutes)
Drinks in the office = 17 (> 1 ep.)

It's time for another - Parenting Tip From the Drapers #2
Of course you can leave your kids under 9-years old at home alone at night. As long as they're sleeping.

What are the late 50s-early 60s without acceptance of sexual harrasment in the office?
We think we counted 14 cases that today would be immediate firings.
(We didn't keep super great track.)

Parenting Tip From the Drapers #3:
If you only have your kids once every other weekend but you have a date...
Go on the date! That's what babysitters are for!

How many times does Don Draper smoke in SEASON TWO?
Episode One - 3 times
Episode Two - 2 times
Episode Three - 5 times
Episode Four - 3 times
Ep. Five - 1 time
Ep. Six - 5 times
Ep. Seven - 4 times
Ep. Eight - 1 time
Ep. Nine - 5 times
Ep. Ten - 3 times
Ep. Eleven - 3 times
Ep. Twelve - 1 time
Ep. Thirteen - 1 time

TOTAL = 37 times
Per Ep. Average = 3 (Once every 15 minutes)
Drinks in the office = 7 (1 every other ep.)

Parenting Tip From the Drapers #4:
Show your son that real men don't picnic. Unless you drink the entire time, leave the trash there, and then drive the family home. Oh, and be sure to chuck that last can out of the window as you're speeding off.
Parenting Tip From the Drapers #5:
It is perfectly acceptable for your 9-year old daughter to get you a beer. It's even better if she can make you three different mixed drinks.

Before we go on to how many times Don Draper smokes in seasons three and four...

How many women does Don Draper sleep with? While we're at it, how many times does Don Draper cheat on his wife? Here's your list:

Hippy artist - 5 times (cheating)
Client's daughter/Rachel - 4 times (cheating)
Bobbi Barrett - 4 times (cheating)
Young Cali Girl/Joy - 2 times
Stewardess - 1 time
Sally's Teacher - 5 times (cheating)
Bethany Van Niess - Questionable
Slappy Hooker - 2 times
Secretary 1 - 1 time
Girl From a Bar - 1 time
Doris - 1 time
Faye - Undetermined
Secretary 2/Megan - Undetermined

TOTAL people/times = 13/26 for sure/18 instances of cheating

Still here? GOOD!

Parenting Tip From the Drapers #5: How to deal with lying children
"Don't you lie to me, I will cut your fingers off!"
Parenting Tip From the Drapers #6: How to deal with smoking children
Put them in the closet. That will teach them.

How many times does Don Draper smoke in SEASON THREE?
Episode One - 6 times
Episode Two - 6 times
Episode Three - 5 times
Episode Four - 4 times
Episode Five - 2 time
Ep. Six - 2 times
Ep. Seven - 2 times
Ep. Eight - 1 time
Ep. Nine - 1 time
Ep. Ten - 3 times
Ep. Eleven - 3 times
Ep. Twelve - ZERO
Ep. Thirteen - 3 times

TOTAL = 38
Per Episode Average = 3 (Once every 15 min.)
Drinks in the office = 9 ( < 1 ep)

Parenting Tip From the Drapers #7:
Add "take the children to therapy appointments," to the nanny's duties.
Parenting Tip From the Drapers #8:
Nothing says "I love my unborn baby" like horseback riding, followed by smoking, drinking, and having sex with strangers in a bar.

How many times does Don Draper smoke in SEASON FOUR?
Episode One - 8 times
Episode Two - 3 times
Episode Three - 10 times
Episode Four - 3 times
Episode Five - 2 times
Ep. Six - 2 times
Ep. Seven - 3 times
Ep. Eight - 4 times
Ep. Nine - 1 time
Ep. Ten - 4 times
Ep. Eleven - ZERO
Ep. Twelve - 4 times
Ep. Thirteen - 2 times

TOTAL = 46 times
Per Episode Average = 3.5 (Once every 13 minutes)
Drinks in the office = 32! (Almost 3 per)

So...

How many times does Don Draper smoke in Mad Men? 184 times.

Parenting Tip From the Drapers #9: If someone else's child breaks something in your house, these are acceptable responses-
"Head outside, there's a BB gun out back."
(After slapping the neighbor's child) "Go get your mother to clean this up."

For those counting (us)...
Betty Draper smokes 5 times while pregnant. She drinks 3 times.

And your final Parenting Tip From the Drapers - The correct way to lecture your children about lying via Don Draper:
"It wasn't a lie. It was ineptitude without coverage."

Season Five debuts March 25

Cat Shit Palace

2012-02-04T15:10:00.000-08:00

Cat craps on the carpet every day?

Put him in a crate.

Abu is too old to give away. Apparently he's not old enough to put down. It's too cold to boot him outside. But I have no patience to clean up diahrea off the carpet every morning.

So I figured, the dogs sleep in crates, why can't the cat?

BOOM!

"Cat Shit Palace"

It's got everything he'll need for an eight hour night: a blanket, bed, shit box, food, and water. What more could a cat want?

And that's the story of how we became white trash.

Thanks Abu. I'm never owning a cat again.

January in Review

2012-02-01T18:35:00.000-08:00

January is already over. Can you believe it?

It's been an eventful month.

We started 2012 and with it, January, at a friend's suprise birthday. It was a hit, in my opinion. Dancing, drinks, and only friends. The right way to start a month and a year.

I started a sportswriting internship with The Bleacher Report. B/R is the fourth largest sports website in the entire nation. So far so good; lots of challenges. Click here to check out my B/R profile and all of the articles I've written thus far.

Katie had a rough month. She injured her leg, tearing a few ligaments in her ankle. She'll miss soccer for at least a month. She's miserable being on crutches since she's usually so active.

I thought I'd have to put Abu, my 13-year old cat, down this month. I took him into the vet expecting the worse. Well, he's got pancreatitus and anemia. And he's still here. He's currently on a six-day shit on the carpet streak. He's also currently on a two day outdoor-cat only trial.

We decided on our yearly vacation. It'll be to Seattle in February.

As for my resolutions...

Maintain Good Health and Fitness
So far so good. I hit the gym about six times a week. Visible results and a good feeling to boot.

No soda streak
It's somewhere around 6. Not what I hoped for.

Cut back on sugar
My snacking has been reduced. It's gone from sweets and junk to almonds, beef jerky, eggs, and Greek yogurt. The eat things with sugar in them less.

We haven't started the front. THe savings account takes time. Dog tricks are in the process. Professional increases are in process.

Eat dinner at the table
So far so good. We've forgotten twice. We've chosen not to on account of guests over, at someone else's house, or Katie's leg about four more times. 25/31 is pretty good.

Resolutions good. Writing is great. Cat is stressful. Katie is hurt. My great evens out her poor.

January ends = EVEN

January Movie Reviews

2012-01-31T20:15:00.000-08:00

Movies reviewed: Fast Five, The Fighter, Due Date, Source Code, Hall Pass, Limitless, The Social Network

Rating System:
1 Star = F = Hated it!
2 Stars = D = Didn't really like it.
3 Stars = C = Eh, it was average.
4 Stars = B = Liked it!
5 Stars = A = LOVED it!

Fast Five (2011) - Absolutely painful to get through. The dialogue and acting were awful. The story was plain dumb with barely anything to do with cars.
Rating: 1.5 Stars (D-) -- Scratch it

The Fighter (2010) - Christian Bale's performance is amazing! But other than that, it was just eh. The story is the same as Rocky, watch that instead. The characters were annoying and there wasn't enough boxing (the acting boxing was bad).
Rating: 3 Stars (C+) -- Your call, but I don't think you need to.

Due Date (2010) - Obviously comedies go overboard and are unrealistic. But this one seems so forced. Funny? Yes. Anything else? No. Nothing else.
Rating: 3 Stars (C) -- Scratch It

Source Code (2011) - It's short and to the point. Start's out plain enough but then hits you with a completely unexpected twist. Right when you're wrapping your head around it and catch back up, it hits you with an even bigger twist and ends.
Rating: 3.5 Stars (B-) -- Catch It

Hall Pass (2011) - I had REALLY high hopes for this one. Aaaand it was... funny...ish. I just had such high hopes. The story was too predictable, it didn't help me escape reality like movies are supposed to. In fact, it was exactly how I imagine reality to be.
Rating: 3 Stars (C+) -- Your call, but I don't think you need to.

Limitless (2011) - It wasn't as smooth as I expected. It had more of a Fight Club feel to it with all the camera angles, music, drugs, and fighting. Except it wasn't nearly as good. I was disappointed.
Rating: 3 Stars (C) -- Scratch It.

The Social Network (2010) - Made me dislike Mark Zuckerberg, want to delete my Facebook in protest, and respect geeky hacker nerds less. If that was the point, then bravo! But I doubt it.
Rating: 3 Stars (C+) -- If you love you some Facebook, scratch it.

Anticipated February Movies:
Eat, Pray, Love
Your Highness
Friends with Benefits
127 Hours

A Male Period?

2012-01-29T12:50:00.000-08:00

Once every three months or so I suffer from massive, confidence-deflating mood swings.

Women do this once a month. It's called, a period.

They get biologically crazy. They say things like, "I AM F---ING CALM" at the top of their lungs (clearly). They unexpectedly and unexplainably burst into tears after tripping over the small piece of blanket hanging off the end of the couch. "Do I look fat in these pants?" is less of a joke after the 17th time you hear it.

It's an extreme and unavoidable biological shift in hormones. As in, they can't help it. So what's my excuse?

So I thought: Do men have "periods" too, specifically of the hormonal fluctuation variety?

First and foremost, I am not bleeding out of any orifices (thank God). I am also not in fact in possession of my own vagina funny guys who inevitably think the problem is summed up by calling me a "pussy."

Once every 12-15 weeks I become moody and quick to irritation. Up by 29 points in a seven year old video game, I get mad when my wide receiver drops the ball. I throw the controller. I get mad the dog is looking at me that way. This leads to cussing, Katie's irritation, calling me ridiculous, and me going to bed early.

Which then leads to my mind going miles every minute, touching on every aspect of my life. The game, the dogs, my career, my personality. One thing to the next. And it always ends in overwhelming self-doubt.

I'm not good enough to do anything I like. I don't like anything I'm doing. I'm too old to start over. I'll never find a career I'll like. I'll end up settling and be miserable for mediocre money.

Nothing is right. Nothing works. I'm a loser. And I'm going nowhere.

Women have a name for theirs. What is mine called? Here's what I found on the internet:

Another blogger's take on my exact same dilemma. It dives into the similarities of male and female: nipples, hair, organs, etc. The piece questions whether hormone shifts occur in both and gives an in-depth explanation. Sounds logical.

But it describes these periods (OF TIME) as happening every month and including indifference. Mine is worse than indifferent and less often.

Then there was this...
A female blogger's observation about the men in her life which led to similar research. Same as the above, but gave me the term, "IMS," Irritable Male Syndrome. That seems fitting.

Symptoms are anger, anxiety, hypersensitivity, and irritability. What a stupid list! I hope this isn't me. Stop thinking of me like a sissy! Ugh! How annoying!

IMS can occur out of nowhere and at any time; like when the dog gets up to get water and accidently uncovers your cold feet.

This description makes it sound like it happens daily. Lucky for me, I guess, it only happens for two days, three months at a time.

Here is the closest information I found to actual clinical studies. Stress makes it worse. Shocking. This paragraph probably sums up the entire article:

1) Men's testosterone, for instance, varies and goes up and down four or five times an hour.
2) There are daily cycles with testosterone being higher in the morning and lower at night.
3) Men have a monthly hormonal cycle that is unique to each man, but men can actually track their moods and recognize they are related to hormonal changes through the month.
4) We know that there are seasonal cycles with testosterone higher in November and lower in April.
5) We know about hormonal cycles with males during adolescence, but also the years between 40 and 55 have what we call male menopause or andropause.
6) Finally, we know there are hormonal changes in men going through IMS, related to stress in a man's life.

"What we've found is that one of the primary symptoms is denial. That is, men think the problem is anywhere other than in themselves."

I think the results are clear: I definitely do not have IMS. There's not enough concrete evidence to prove it exists. Must have been made up by women.

If you think you or someone you know is suffering from IMS or are worried it may be depression, click here to take a quick and simple quiz

Top 10 Alicia Keys songs

2012-01-27T20:32:00.000-08:00

I love Alicia Keys. LOVE her. As such, I wanted to post another (yes, another) top ten list. My goal here is to either turn you on to Alicia Keys' music OR introduce you to a few lesser known songs. I'm not going to try to explain in depth what it is about each song. Most are soothing. She plays piano phenomenally. The messages are inspiring. The beats are legit.

Honorable Mentions: No One, You Don't Know My Name, Heartburn, Empire State of Mind, Fallin'

10. Superwoman

9. That's How Strong My Love Is

8. Doesn't Mean Anything

7. If I Ain't Got You

6. Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart

5. Wait Til You See My Smile

4. Like You'll Never See Me Again

3. Tell You Something (Nana's Reprise)

2. This Bed

1. Lesson Learned

I really hope you enjoy!

Top 10 Kenny Chesney songs

2012-01-24T19:44:00.000-08:00

Here's my list of top ten Kenny Chesney songs. Below is Katie's. I thought the top ten Tim McGraw songs post was hard, this one was nearly equal in difficulty. Read, think, react. Was your favorite in there? Do we have any shameful misses? Tell me yours.

But first (because there are so many good ones to choose from), 25-11.
25. Back Where I Come From
24. Summertime
23. Don't Blink
22. Out Last Night
21. Don't Happen Twice
20. Fall in Love
19. Live Those Songs
18. Got a Little Crazy
17. Never Wanted Nothin' More
16. No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem
15. Keg in the Closet
14. Big Star
13. She's Got It All
12. Somewhere With You
11. Living Life in Fast Forward

Nick's Top Ten Kenny Chesney songs
10. How Forever Feels

9. When the Sun Goes Down

8. The Good Stuff

7. Better As a Memory

6. I Go Back

5. Beer in Mexico

4. Shiftwork

3. You and Tequila

2. She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy

1. Young

Katie's Top Ten Kenny Chesney songs
10. Just Don't Happen Twice

9. Big Star

8. The Woman With You

7. Somewhere with You

6. I Go Back
5. Young
4. She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
3. How Forever Feels
2. Beer in Mexico
1. She's Got It All

How'd we do?

Top 10 Brad Pitt movies

2012-01-21T16:00:00.000-08:00

Continuing the series of my ten favorite movies from my ten favorite actors, we're brought to Brad Pitt. Let's get to it.

No. 10 - Troy
Achilles joins the war against Troy, putting his life on the line for a shot at immortality in the history books. So, I wouldn't say Pitt nails it, because I still can't stand the long hair look. I have a hard time buying the savage warrior fighter role until the fight with Hector. This one is more about the story. Pitt's firepower is just kind of a subtle bonus to the movie.

No. 9 - Ocean's 11
Obviously there's three Ocean's movies, so that will make up the bulk of the list. Where I tried to differentiate them is in Pitt's performance in each. I like 11, the movie, the best. It's an original. But of the three, I like Pitt's role in number one the least. He's funny-ish but that's about it for me. Again, it's more of the movie.

No. 8 - Ocean's 13
So after the third Ocean's movie, it starts to become a bit of a stretch. Luckily his performance is a little better in the third, than in the first. His character has developed, mostly because he's developed it. He's still funny, funnier in fact, but more suave, and intelligently crafted. He exudes maturity and leadership.

No. 7 - Curious Case of Benjamin Button
If you think about how difficult it would be to play this role, starting old and working your way backwards, that's amazing. And he absolutely nails it. He plays the old guy believably, he plays his own age, he even shows some spruce and reminds us of the young Pitt.

No. 6 - Se7en
The younger days of Brad Pitt. I like this one because he's such a loose cannon. He's a young cop, just transferred over, and matched with the intelligence of Morgan Freeman. They're chasing a killer, but where Freeman does it methodically, Pitt just goes all in. He almost kind of reminds you of a serial killer himself, with the killer being more relaxed and tactical than Pitt is.

No. 5 - The Mexican
It's the pure zaniness that I enjoy most. He tricks me into beliving he's just an ordinary guy. Not a superhero, not an actor, just a guy. He tricks me into believing this could happen to anyone. He does so through his reactions, his mannurisms. It's hilarious.

No. 4 - Ocean's 12
Ocean's 12 is my favorite film Brad Pitt wise. Not cast wise. Not story wise. But Pitt plays the largest role in 12 then in any other. 11 he's just as much as the others, almost less, more of a recon man, a right hand man. 13 he steps into the leader role and directs the others. 12 he's actually got tasks. He's developed the character more than 11, but not quite taken out of it like in 13. He's got the leadership, the suaveness, but maintains a boyish sense of aloof.

No. 3 - Moneyball

To be a great actor you must be able to successfully trick your audience into believing you are the character, and not yourself playing a character. I know the story of Moneyball well. I'm an A's fan. I've ready the book. Yet, Pitt played such a brilliant Billy Beane I felt like I was seeing it all unfold for the first time. To play a guy I'm not to big on, and make me feel for him, and feel sorry for him, is a job well done. Moneyball isn't about the A's, it's about a guy. One whom for over an hour and a half Pitt makes you believe he is, so masterfully.

No. 2 - Snatch

The role. The role alone. How you play this role, with this accent, is amazing. It's pure talent. That is all.

No. 1 - Fight Club

Everything about this movie is magic. The pairing of Brad Pitt and Edward Norton. The story. The twist. The action. Brad Pitt's intensity is unmatched. No one else on Earth could have played this role. No one.

The Benefits of Twitter

2012-01-18T18:40:00.000-08:00

Don't have a Twitter? You're missing out. It's more than just entertainment. It's breaking news. It's facts about life and the world. It's comedy in 140 characters. It's friends. It's up-to-the-minute sports rumors and transactions. It's a conversation starter. It's celebrities providing their thoughts, interacting with each other, and if you're lucky, even you.

I was anti-Twitter once. I'm glad I shed the stigma. Twitter has been wonderful to me. Even in the beginning, I was cautious. I never wanted to follow more than 100 people, never wanted to favorite anything. Today I follow over 200 and have nearly 40 favorite tweets. Tweets that have inspired me, picked me up, educated me, made me laugh, and, honest to God, made me a better person. Here's just a few examples of my favorited tweets, categorized:

Entertainment
The 50 Best Tweets of 2011: Need a reason to join Twitter? Here's 50 of them.

The 90 Best Twitter Accounts: If you get an account of your own, you should definitely give these a try. Consider it a startup kit.

The Pixar Process: Fascinating.

The Spielberg Curriculum: The 206 movies filmmakers must watch in order to work with Spielberg.

Suggested Follow(s): Damien Fahey, comedian. The Fake Barack Obama. Thee Dos Equis Guy.

Twitter is one of the most entertaining websites on the internet. There's so much to do, so much variety. I follow comedians, writers for my favorite shows, athletes, and other celebrities. Sometimes, they ever respond!

Inspiration
via TheRock: "The wall. Your success is on the other side. Cant jump over it or go around it. U know what to do.. #BarrelThruThatBitch" AND "Great achievement requires great effort. You can achieve anything - the effort is up to you. #GoGetItAndDontLookBack"

20 Best Quotes from Top Executives

This Guy Got a Job by Tweeting

How to Curb Stress at Work

There's times I'm just not feelin' it. Not feelin' work, the gym, gettin' outta bed. Fortunately, there's guys out there like The Rock who always have awesome quotes that pump me up. There's always someone who reinvigerates me to do well, give my best, and keep at it.

Health and Fitness
The "55" Workout and Pyramid Jumping Jacks

The 30-30 Workout

The Spartacus Workout

How to Look at Calories

23 Tips for a Slimmer Belly

Suggested Follow(s): Men's Health Magazine.

I have literally 30 something workouts saved and another dozen foods to try, recipes, and tips, most of them from Men's Health so I know they're legit. I've got intense stuff, workouts on the go, with no equipment, workouts requiring little time, workouts celebrities like Drew Brees do, and more. I never do the same thing twice, I never get bored.

Career
How Hiring Managers Read Your Resume

Tips on Cover Letters

12 Things NOT to do When Applying for a Job

6 Tips for a Career Change

Suggested Follow(s): If you want to work in sports, @TeamWorkOnline, Jason Hernandez, recruiter for ESPN who always sends career and resume advice ( @JJH_ESPNCareers )

Everything from tips on how to write a resume, cover letter, nail an interview, what to do after, research tips, how to dress, what to say and ask, etc. Further there's tips on how to make a career switch and industry tips. Add in actual jobs tweeted makes the searches that much easier.

Life
How to Take Better Photographs

How to Be More Interesting

Travel Sites to Save Money

How to Get Out of a Ticket

Suggested Follow(s): Jimmy the Bartender ( @MensHealthJimmy ) BroTips.

This category is wide open. All kinds of simple and subtle tips on life, being better, style, and the likes. Following BroTips alone has given me more legit advice on life than I've gotten in the 25 years before.

And of course for breaking sports news: Buster Olney and Adam Schefter.

Twitter has provided me yet another outlet for creative writing as well. As an aspiring writer, Twitter has allowed me the opportunity to write and write concisely (only 140 characters). It also provides another link to my work; I post all of my professional works and blog articles for added audience. EVEN BETTER- I surround myself with other writers via Twitter; writers from Family Guy, Community, The Simpsons, Late Night with David Letterman, and more. I've had conversations with these people, gotten feedback, tips, and more.

Be the first to know sports news. Get a celebrity to talk to you. Share your opinion on anything and everything. Get a Twitter.

You can follow me on Twitter!

Judging the Judgers

2012-01-17T18:00:00.000-08:00

Jury duty is the most fascinating place for a people-watcher because it really brings the worst out in people. Ladies and gentleman, we get the day off from work. You are a citizen, this is your duty. Besides, you all judge others outside of the courtroom daily anyway, is there a better job?

I did two days of duty. Ultimately I was excused, but in those two days, it was incredibly amusing listening to the others, especially their excuses.

The "I'm Too Good For This" Girl
First there was the teacher who thought she was more important than anyone else in the building. "This is ridiculous! I'm a teacher! My classroom depends on me!" to which I responded: "Don't you have a sub?"

"Well yeah but I have curriculum to do."

"Shouldn't that already have been done?" Yeah... she didn't care for me much after that. She had to stay the entire time, both days, having never been asked one question. She was thrilled and let everyone who would listen know about it.

The "Wildly Inappropriate, I Just Made Everyone Feel Uncomfortable" Guy
Everything was good and fine until he was asked one particular question (I don't want to get in trouble, not supposed to talk about the case) which he replied:
"I could sit up here with sunglasses on, swaying back and forth like Ray Charles too and pretend I was mental." Aaaaaaaaaaaaand we just got awkward. The guy he was mocking was in the courtroom. He was let go.

"Crazy Old Guy"
Talk about post traumatic stress, this 80 year old dude took a simple question and ran with it about 240 yards from a simple yes or no to a:
"Have you ever had to lay next to young men screaming because their damn legs were just blown off??" Uhhhhhh....come again? As you could probably guess, he was excused, but took one last shot on his way out screaming, "Well this is BULLSHIT!" I'm sorry, did you want to be here?

The "CLEARLY Lying" Girl
Literal dialogue:
"I'm not sure if I can be objective, I think my experiences will sway me."
(The judge reads her the definition of being objective and asks again if she can't do it.)
"Well...well... my cousin is a cop."
(There will be no officers providing expert witness so that is irrelevant.)
"But now that I'm looking at the person, I think s/he looks familiar. I can't figure out where I've seen them, but I know I have.)
She was let go.

The "Poor Kid Who's Life is on Blast to All" Guy
One guy must be no more than 21. Looks even younger than that. But when the D.A. asks if anyone has been to court before in their own case, he raises his hand, already a little ashamed. She asks, "What was it for?" His head lowers, "DUI."
"Was there a verdict?" His head lowers more... "Yes, Guilty."
"What was the process like? Fast, slow, easy?" His eyes are darting around, shamefully looking at everyone else... "I plead. It was fast."
THANK YOU D.A. LADY FOR REMINDING ME AND THE SHAMING ME MORE IN FRONT OF ALL THESE STRANGERS!!

The "Instead of Providing a Simple Yes or No, I'm Going to Give You 20 Minute Background" People
More than one. Terrible. ANSWER YES OR NO!!!

The Admin Assistant
It's not too professional to eyeball people, aggressively chew gum, look at people as if they're stupid when they ask questions, and watch them walk away giving looks of disgust.

Courtroom Efficiency
Day one: I get in one line to get in the building. 20 minutes. I check in and go upstairs and wait in line number two, for 20 minutes. We get the run down of proceedings for 30 minutes and are released for an hour and a half for lunch. Then back at it again. Day two: We get started an hour and half late. We repeat questions and procedures from day one. Everything that took two days could have been done in one.

Biases
Attorneys and judges ask you if knowing anyone involved or knowing anyone who is in a similar industry will bias you. Everyone answers, "No, I don't think so," and gets kicked off the panel. My question is, how do you not let something bias your opinion? I felt bias toward the attorneys alone. One was frumpy, frowned a lot, and said "uhm, uhm, uhm". The other was direct, sometimes funny, and exuded confidence. She even had a little bit of an accent. It made me think, "I like her. I'm going to believe what she has to say a lot more than what frumpy over there has..." Clearly, I too would make a terrible juror.

85 people. Four cuts. Zero questions. Off the hook for one year.

He Had a Dream

2012-01-16T14:48:00.000-08:00

Do you know any other line from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s famous "I Have a Dream" speech? I didn't, so I looked it up. Below is the transcript of the speech, with my highlights of lines that either stood out to me or I felt were as important as one of the most important and memorable lines in history. Seriously, take some time and read it over.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

We cannot turn back.

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.
Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.
Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.
Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.
From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Balls and Seeds

2012-01-15T10:01:00.000-08:00

Men. Sports fans. All of the above. I have another blog where I actually write about sports topics only. So you're not bogged down by only my opinion, it features the opinions of five to seven other people for variety. Half blog, half forum.

Almost one year ago I decided to re-focus the aim of this blog. In doing so, trying to capitalize on a specific audience, I ditched sports topics. Unfortunately, I'm an opinionated guy who loves him some sports, so I made a second. But for that one, I got a few friends to jump on board.

We debate. We argue. We give opinions. We rank 'em. We list 'em. We even do Around the Horn like competitions.

I didn't link it to Facebook because I didn't want to overdue it on the blog posts all over Facebook... the amount I do now is enough...

Balls and Seeds, check it out!

Enjoy!

Top 10: Denzel Washington movies

2012-01-13T18:00:00.000-08:00

I wrote a Top10 Favorite Actors. Now I think I'll make a series out of it. Top tens for each. Will Smith's is already done. That takes us to numero nueve: Denzel Washington. Let's rank 'em.

Notables I have not seen:Philadelphia, Crimson Tide, He Got Game, The Manchurian Candidate, anything new

#10 - Virtuosity
Denzel plays a cop who hunts down a killer who has escaped from virtual reality. It really is a terrible movie. My homer pick, naturally number ten.

#9 - Glory
A white man leads a troop of black soldiers in the Civil War, including foul-mouthed Denzel. He comes around and absolutely throws it down like a badass.

#8 - The Bone Collector
He's a bed-ridden homicide detective and nails it. It's kind of a weird, twisted movie all in all. New idea, decent story.

#7 - Inside Man
What I like about this movie is the concept and the cast. What I don't like about this movie is that after watching it twice all the way through, I still don't get it.

#6 - Courage Under Fire
Denzel at his best, in the best suited character, as usual. He's a military detective that is trying to deduce whether or not a female officer is deserving of a Medal of Honor, but has to sort through conflicting accounts. More of the story that I like, but Denzel fits the role to a T.

#5 - American Gangster
When Denzel isn't a badass, brilliant detective, he's a badass criminal. As is the case here. Set it in the 70s-80s (I believe) and give it a smidge of a Scarface cutthroat feel and you've got number five.

#4 - Deja Vu
I can say over and over Denzel as a detective who outsmarts the killer/criminal/puzzle is perfect because it is. This movie is no exception. Where this movie gets me is the plot. I always have issues with time travel, this one is no exception. But I love the concept, and it makes more sense to me than any other time travel movie, so I can at least appreciate it that much more.

#3 - Training Day
This one needs no explanation. There's twists. There's turns. There's PLENTY of action. Denzel is such a smug- wait for it- BADASS bad guy it adds a little humor while you still fear the guy. He owns the whole town (for 75 minutes at least). Click here for (R-Rated) speech.

#2 - Remember the Titans

You need a black actor to play a head football coach in a time of rampant racism, who won't back down, is strong, and will lead men to victory. Who better than Denzel for that role?! Have I outplayed badass yet? He benches the white players who suck, he's calm, he fights through suspensions and forfeits and rallies his team. Denzel makes this one of the best sports movies ever.

#1 - Man on Fire

One last time: B-A-D-A-S-S! So he's a retired ~~badass~~ bodyguard now protecting a family, specifically the little girl, in Mexico. She is kidnapped. Could be end of story but oh no! If you haven't seen this brilliant movie you are missing out? Denzel stops at NOTHING to find her when everyone else gives up immediately. He battles lawyers, the corrupt police, and drug lords to find this little girl who has essentially given him another chance at life. The emotional bond the two share, how freakin' cute she is, plus Denzel blowing cars up with bazookas is awesome!

Dorkly's Top 25 Video Games for N64

2012-01-12T20:39:00.001-08:00

Stumbled across this gem. Thought I'd share, for the fellas. Hopefully get some feedback. This is not my list. Just my commentary.

Top 25 Video Games N64

25. Mortal Kombat Trilogy
LOVED this game. One of my favorite 2D fighting games. Loved the variety of characters, the moves, the graphics for the time, the fatalities.
My Rating = A-

24. Bomberman 64
The Bomberman game itself is pretty good. The puzzle format is challenging and somewhat fun. The four-player aspect is fun!
MR = C+

23. Resident Evil 2
The first game I could not play at night. Even with a friend, it was scary to play at night. Everything would be silent and in the background you could hear the faint moan of a zombie. Fun gameplay, but incredibly hard. I never could get past like the fourth section. Fun nonetheless.
MR = A-

22. Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire
If this is the game I think it is, there's only really one fun level. Tying up AT-ATs is fun. Bumping people off on a speeder is ok. Gameplay is tough. Graphics are terrible.
MR = C+

21. Pokemon Snap
Pass. Not into the Pokemon stuff.
MR = N/A

20. Kirby 64: The Crystal Shreds
Played Kirby for Gameboy and LOVED it. I imagine the gameplay is similar so it's probably decently entertaining. Haven't played it myself though...
MR = N/A

19. Mario Tennis
Might be one of the first tennis games I ever played. It played very smoothly. Graphics, movements, gameplay, all legit.
MR = B

18. Yoshi's Story
Yoshi and Mario games are always fun.
MR = B

17. Star Wars: Rogue Squadron
Never owned this one myself, don't think I ever played it. I know a friend who owned it, played it often. He seemed to like it quite a bit. A good fly around, shoot sh-t type of game.
MR = N/A

16. Diddy Kong Racing
This one's only eh. Tried to capitalize on Mario Kart, didn't work out.
MR = C-

15. Banjo-Tooie
Never played it.
MR = N/A

14. Conker's Bad Fur Day
Two aspects to this, the game, and mini games. The game itself is super hard and actually kind of boring. The mini games are so awesome. The best mini-games I've ever played. It's actually foul-mouthed, and a bit disgusting at times, but through the crude nature, it's more than entertaining.
MR = A-

13. Mario Party
LOVED THIS GAME. Spawned several more, all equally good. Originals always have a special spot.
MR = A-

12. Perfect Dark
LOVED THIS GAME too! Much like Goldeneye 007, but revamped. A spy game, not a 007 game, with similar gameplay. You could play the story mode with two players, which is almost necessary and the multiplayer featured teams of players versus sims.
MR = A

11. Pokemon Stadium
See above
MR = N/A

10. Banjo-Kazooie
Had a brief game with this one. It was fun-ish. Owned Jak&Daxter, and it's pretty much the same.
MR = C+

9. Paper Mario
I understand the idea: a 2D Mario puzzle game. I could never quite get inspired enough to try it.
MR = N/A

8. Donkey Kong 64
Not quite the Super Nintendo version. Not quite the Wii version either. It suffices though. DOnkey Kong games are always similar and usually fun.
MR = B+

7. Star Fox 64
LOVE this game too! The graphics are actually horrendous but there's something about the way the game moves, the missions and the object of the whole game is fantastic. Barrel roll and use your Bs wisely.
MR = A

6. Mario Kart 64
Who hasn't played this? Who hasn't liked this? Better than the original.
MR = A

5. Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Never played it.
MR = N/A

4. GoldenEye 007
HOw is this not ranked number one? How? This game is amazing. It's an original and an instant classic. The gameplay is fun and can be as easy or challenging as you choose. The multi-player is the best multi-player game EVER.
MR = A+

3. Super Mario 64
One of the first Mario games to go 3D. Huge map, tons of levels, tons of things to do. Very, VERY challenging. I've never beaten it but I'm always drawn back to it, and the same levels are as fun each time.
MR = A

2. Super Smash Bros.
Never interested.
MR = N/A

1. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
I hate the Zelda franchise. I do. Is that weird? Tried it. Didn't like it. Too much walking around. Too much to do. Not enough patience. The music sucks too.
MR = D

Way too many notables missing from this list. No Mercy? FZero?

(My) Top Ten Favorite Actors

2012-01-10T19:15:00.000-08:00

Do you have any actors who's movies you'll go see even if it looks like a stinker? Those you'll argue as if they were family and you knew them personally? I've got ten here, ten actors I love to watch for various reasons from style to humor, roles to how well they do what they do.

Honorable Mentions:
-Paul Rudd-
Dude is SUPER underrated! He makes all of his roles HILARIOUS! The way he delivers lines is what does it.

-Ryan Gosling-
Only really lately with a nice back to back of The Notebook and Crazy, Stupid, Love. I like how he's a mans man, he gets it done, he's confident, he works hard, and he gets the hot girls.

-Morgan Freeman/Sidney Poitier-
I lump them together because if you really think about it, they're similar. Poitier got me in 'In the Heat of the Night'. It's the voice and exuding confidence. He misses because I've only seen two movies. I like Freeman because he's always the quiet, confident, intelligent guy that never lets you down. He doesn't really thrill you, but the movies he's in, so many good ones -- Shawshank, Batmans, Bruce Almight, Seven....

-James Franco
He missed the list because he's still young and up-and-coming. I like the way he's humble and the way he speaks. This is all based on a few appearances I've seen on late night shows more so than his actual movies. But Saul in Pineapple Express is prreeeetty freakin' funny, no?

-Jake Gyllenhaal-
Very, VERY close to making the list. Like Franco it's the youth and charisma I appreciate. That and the ability. Problem is, I need to see a bit more. He caught me at The Day After Tomorrow, REALLY got me at Love and Other Drugs, but I need to see more still for him to make the jump.

10. Will Smith

Movie that got me - Independence Day
What it is in a word - Talent
He makes every movie he's in a great movie. He can play in a ton of different roles, and he plays them well. For example, he's a badass cop in Bad Boys, he's the suave playboy in Hitch, and he's the inspirational right hand man in Legend of Bagger Vance. It might be more of the movies he's in then him, or maybe he just knows how to pick a great role in a great movie.

9. Denzel Washington

Movie that got me - Remember the Titans
What it is in a word - Badassness.
In each of his roles, he's a take no crap, get it done kind of guy, even if he's not a superhero. He's the head coach in times of racism and doesn't back down. He's a corrupt cop that sticks to his guns til the bitter end. He's a bodyguard who never gives up. The fact that he stood on the sidelines at Sacramento Mountain Lions games certainly helps.

8. Brad Pitt

Movie that got me - Seven
What it is - Talent?
Women like him because of his looks. I think he actually looks a bit scary. It's weird to admit I like him because of his talent, but it may just be true. He takes on a variety of roles and accomplishes each terrifically. I didn't think he could do Troy, but he did it. He killed in Moneyball. He makes it so that you forget he's BRAD PITT and believe he's his character, better than a lot of people.

7. John Cusack

Movie - High Fidelity
What it is - Eccentric-ism (word?)
I like Cusack mostly because of his pure zaniness. He's always high strung and stressed out, but it makes me laugh. I think a part of it makes me think of him as a normal guy rather than an actor. Even when I can't believe he's in the right role, he makes me laugh so much I forget.

6. James Stewart

Movie - Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
What it is - Fatherly
I like him because he feels like a family member. He feels like a grandfather and his movies are his stories he's telling you on his lap. He's had his capers, his mishaps, but he's still here. It's been crazy, there's been deception, and more than a few women. But he's used his smarts and made it through.

5. Marlon Brando

Movie - The Godfather
What it is - Mystique
Brando is a hard read but because of that, I dig him. He appears calm, cool, and collected to your face, all the while he's got his crew killing a part of you and/or your family at the same time. He commands respect, he never backs down in ALL of his movies. I'm sort of drawn to him, trying to figure him out but I never can so it leaves me wanting more.

4. Leonardo DiCaprio

Movie - Titanic (obviously)
What it is - Talent
Does anyone pick roles in movies better than Leo and then absolutely nail them? I seriously doubt it. The dude can play any role, but he's even better at real people. Have a biographical true story? Cast Leo. Then he does fantasy movies that make you think deeply and mistifies you. There's nothing left to say, unless I throw in that I like his accent.

3. Mark Wahlberg

Movie - The Italian Job
What it is - Man Crush
You had to figure there'd be one. Wahlberg's it. Something about his path inspires me; not the violence, the coming from nothing, to rapping, to modeling, to acting. He was a punk and now he's the man. I dig that. He's my favorite action star with the perfect, believeable, tough guy appeal.

2. Matt Damon

Movie - Good Will Hunting
What it is - Talent?
I use a question mark because even though I'm sure he's my favorite, I'm not sure why. He's definitely talented, but I wouldn't say as much as Leo. I like his roles and movies, even his TV appearances. It's like when I see him as a badass action star, he flips it and goes back to the young stuttering kid in Oceans. Then he'll go Departed on you, corrupt and action packed, then to HILARIOUS in 30 Rock and Entourage. I might even used the word, "Charisma" as my one word. I want the guy on my team whether he's a secret agent, a politician, my best friend, or my Dad who just bought a zoo.

1. Tom Hanks

Movie - Big
What it is - Charisma
The exact opposite of Mark Wahlberg; whereas Mark is the perfect tough guy badass action star, Hanks is the perfect, lovable fan favorite you want to win. He's humurous and he's got charm. Kind of like Morgan Freeman, you can't possibly NOT respect his characters because of the intelligent, thought out plans of action. He gets off the island, he protects his last son, he solves the mystery, he catches the bad guy. In every role he's uber-compassionate. I dig it. That, and he went to Sac State for a bit.

My daughters turn two

2012-01-09T20:06:00.000-08:00

Today is our birthday! We're two years old! We're teenagers!! It's been a rough year, lots of ups and downs. Mom and Dad sure didn't think we would make it.

Here's Lily with the bad:

"Jasmine got attacked by the neighbor dog! He bit right through her face; you could see his teeth inside her mouth, it was awesome! You should have heard her crying! What a baby! I tried to help, but Mom held me tight on my leash. I would have got that mean 'ol dog off of her. She's okay now but her face has scars on it. It was annoying hearing everyone praise her for he "show dog" good looks anyway.

Then in November, when Mom and Dad went on vacation, Jasmine's dumb ass ate a freakin' beach towel! Can you believe that? A beach towel! I mean, I eat poop, but at least it has flavor. The towel got stuck in her gut and they had to do surgery. Seeing her in the cone of shame was pure comedy gold, except when she chased me with it! After no kidney, removal of a foot of intestine, and weight loss, who's the runt of the family now?!

And no vet visits for me! So boo ya!"

Jasmine on the good:

"Hey Lily, bite me. I will still beat you down. ANYWAY...

We went on a field trip and played in a pool with other dogs this year. That was fun!

We got taught a couple of new tricks. Dad makes us wait before retrieving the ball. And sometimes he tries to trick us by making us go to him first. We know a bunch of words, like sit, stay, and shake. We know "get out of the kitchen", "go outside", "back up", and a word that starts with F that Dad shouts when he's mad at the talking screen.

But the best part? At Phoebe's house, there's these furry little things behind bars that smell REALLY good! They usually hide behind walls, but when they move their really fast!

We like to watch them so much that one time we ran back down the street after Mom drove us home (She was soooo mad!)

We had a good year with our friends. Phoebe doesn't play with us too much anymore. Abu likes to cuddle a lot, but sometimes he lays right on our faces! Teddy and Schu are fun! And we met a new friend named Hank, but we're not too sure about him just yet.

Looking back over our pictures, it looks like we wore a lot of costumes too!

One thing is for certain: we're REALLY good at cuddling up and sleeping!

We love to walk but most of the time we get so excited it makes Mom and Dad mad so they don't take us too much. But we promise we'll be better now that we're older..."

Two years down. Jasmine's still my girl; Lily loves her momma. Jasmine will cuddle with anything warm. Lily hates cuddling. She'll do anything for you to throw the ball. Jasmine will do anything for food. You know those people that call their dogs their children? I'm officially one of 'em. I love my babies!

Happy Birthday girls. My puppies aren't puppies anymore...

Sacramento Bar & Club Guide (Updated 1/7/12)

2012-01-07T14:23:00.000-08:00

Need a place to go tonight? I've been to a handful of the downtown Sacramento bars in the last year, so from the point of view of a home-bodied, shy around large groups, occassional social drinker, here are my thoughts on the places I've been so far:

Alley Katz
2019 O Street
AlleyKatz.net

Pros - Price is average, parking is amazing, there's a mix of people in business casual to super casual. Spacious, doesn't get overcrowded. Pool tables are always a plus. Lots of televisions, all on Sportscenter.
Cons - The only place I've ever waited in line for the bathroom as a man. The ONLY place. I liked the tables, but they forced you to lean way back, making conversation a challenge. There can be a few sketchy people in there once in awhile too.
Rating: A

Streets of London (West Sacramento)
2200 Lake Washington Blvd.
http://streetsoflondon.net/

Pros - I'm bias; the location is money (I can walk there). I see friends there. The drinks are cheap. It's a sports pub. The place is large. You can hang inside or head outside around one of the half dozen fires. Trivia night Wednesdays are decently fun.
Cons - If you're from West Sac, and you don't want to see people from West Sac... avoid Streets at all costs. The bartenders are either rude or friendly in a way that screams "I just want your money."
Rating: A

The Park Ultra Lounge
1116 15th Street
http://www.theparkdowntown.com/page.php?url=events

Pros - It's in the center of downtown so it's fairly close to everything. It has a bit of everything too. You can dance, you can relax, you can hang inside, outside, or outside with an overhang to feel inside. You can eat. You can mingle. 1a.m. tacos are bomb! There's a mini cafeteria inside with fountain soda. There's 3 bars! It's super spacious! And from what I hear the bathrooms are legit too, though I've never actually visited them. Dress attire is a smidge more upscale than elsewhere, but dark jeans and a sweater gets you in.
Cons - Parking and the cover charge. Not for the tennis shoes and sweatshirt lovers. Tons of hoochies, that may be a pro for some.
Rating: B+

R15
1431 R Street
http://paragarys.com/go/prg/locations/r15/

Pros - Location is money. Pricing is cheap. Jeans and a sweatshirt is acceptable. It's got pool tables and televisions, but they're not big. Lots of typical downtowners. Parking is easy.
Cons - The bathrooms. They're awful. Seriously, awful. It's cold in the winter because the door is always open. If you can't get a table or seat at the bar you're stuck in no man's land. One of the bartender's is the worst in Sac.
Rating: B

Blue Cue
1004 28th Street
http://bluecue.com/default.do

Pros - The lighting, the music, the VIP area, and the pool tables give out a nice sophisticated, clean vibe. Dress code is decent, some slacks and dress shirts, but dark jeans and polos are welcome. Parking is okay. Prices are decent.
Cons - There was a stabbing there, so that can make someone nervous. No overcrowding, but it's so far down J Street it feels like it's outside of downtown.
Rating: B

Crawdad's
1375 Garden Highway

Pros - Way bigger than Sturgeon, there's music and dancing, sitting inside or out, though inside is hard. On nice nights outside next to the river is awesome.
Cons - On cold or windy nights, outside doesn't work so well and inside is way smaller. From what I've noticed the music and dancing attracts an older crowd.

SweetWater
1901 S Street
http://www.sweetwatereats.com/

Pros - It's in a solid location and it's not overcrowded. It has the perfect in between class and laid back feel.
Cons - With such a size but not a whole lot of people it always looks awfully empty. (Though I found out when there is a crowd it's hard to get a drink!)
Rating: B

Bisla's
7042 Folsom Blvd.
http://www.facebook.com/BislasSacramento

Pros - Prices are cheapish. Bartending service is extremely accessible, I have never waited for a bartender's attention. There's hooka if you're into that. It's a big place. There's an inside small, intimate area. There's a large outdoor area with cabanas. There's large areas indoors with televisions with sports on everywhere.
Cons - Location. At least from where I am. If I lived near Sacramento State it would be money but I don't so it's too far for my liking. It's like a frat though where everybody seems to know everybody and their shit.
Rating: B

Zebra
1900 P Street
Website

Pros - Has the feel of a college bar. Lots of people in their 20s to early 30s, everyone is in jeans and t-shirts. SUUUPER CHEAP! It's so easy to get to, get in, and get cheap drinks.
Cons - Size. WAAAAAY TOO SMALL.
Rating: C+

Streets of London (downtown)
1804 J Street
http://streetsoflondon.net/

Pros - Cheap enough. Location is okay.
Cons - It's super small and super loud. SUPER loud. Nasty bathrooms.
Rating: C+

Shady Lady
1409 R Street
http://www.shadyladybar.com/

Pros - Location. The booths if you can get one. The lighting gives a soft feel.
Cons - It's a bit on the too swanky side for me. The live band in the small space makes it insanely loud, almost too loud to talk. EVERYONE crowds around the bar making it a task to get a drink. Waiting to get in can also be another task.
Rating: C

The Virgin Sturgeon
1577 Garden Highway

Pros - It's next to the river. Outside in the summer is nice.
Cons - Outside is the only place to sit. Inside was filled with a lot of the elderly. It was honestly a bit creepy. Outside when it's cold is not very fun. The rocking dock might do damage on your stomach while drinking. Both times the bartender was sort of unprofessional..
Rating: C-

Pine Cove
502 29th Street
http://pinecovetavern.com/

Pros - Super cheap. No one is there so parking is easy.
Cons - It looks cheap. It smells cheaper. The clientele looks even cheaper.
Rating: C-

Mix
1513 L Street
http://www.mixdowntown.net/

Pros - It's a pretty cool effect walking upstairs and partying in a half in/out balcony, giving the rooftop lounge sort of feel. The music is the same as everywhere else and dancing is optional. Quite large in size and decently spacious set up. The bar stretches the length of the floor.
Cons - The location is awkward. It's a bit crowded. It's more upscale than the Park Ultra Lounge and so close, why not just stay at The Park? Also, stairs and alcohol seems dangerous..
Rating: D+

The Limelight
1014 Alhambra Blvd.
Limelightcardroom.com

Pros - It was cheap!
Cons - It's a bit scary.
Rating: D+

Hilltop Tavern
4757 Folsom Blvd.
Website

Pros - It has a nice hole in the wall feel. It's small but quaint, two pool tables, and shuffleboard. Cheap drinks too.
Cons - The clientele are a bit intimidating.
Rating: D+

Old Tavern
1510 20th Street

Pros - Location?

Cons - Small. Shady people.
Rating: D+

Fanny Anne's
1023 Second Street
http://fannyannsaloon.com/html/index.php

Pros - Location, ish. Old Sac isn't awful.
Cons - Awkwardness. The place is three stories, but each story is so narrow in width. Tons of old people frequent the place. Awkward, old people. It screams janky.
Rating: D

Social
1000 K Street
http://socialnightclubsacramento.com/

Pros - Uhm...dancing? If that's your thing.
Cons - CROWDED. Location is awful. Parking is awful. Dress code is awful. Too ritzy and snooty for me. There's no place to sit either, except for the smoking area.
Rating: D

This post will be updated accordingly.

The 2nd 50 Cent Project: 21 Questions?

2012-01-04T19:05:00.000-08:00

How many questions does 50 Cent ask in '21 Questions'? Does 50 Cent actually ask 21 questions in '21 Questions'? BOOM! 50 Cent Project #2 is born. But first, if you haven't read the first one, you're really missing out on life. Check it out here. Very much worth your time, I promise.

The 50 Cent Project #2
"21 Questions" by 50 Cent

Asked by Nate Dogg
1. Would you love me if I was down and out? (6X)
2. Would you still have love for me? (6X)

Asked by 50 Cent
1. If I fell off tomorrow would you still love me?
2. If I didn't smell so good would you still love me?
3. If I got locked up and sentenced to a quarter century, could I count on you to support me mentally?
4. If I went back to a hoopty from a Benz, would you poof and disappear like some of my friends?
5. If I was hit and I was hurt would you be by my side?
6. If it was time to put in work would you be down to ride?
7. If I ain't rap 'cause I flipped burgers at Burger King would you be ashamed to tell your friends you feelin' me?
8. In the bed if I used my tongue would you like that? (I DIDN'T WRITE THIS SONG MOM!)
9. If I wrote you a love letter would you write back?
10. Would you leave me if you're father found out I was thuggin'?
11. Do you believe me when I tell you, you the one I'm lovin'?
12. Are you mad because I'm askin' you 21 questions?
13. Are you my soulmate?
14. Do you trust me enough, to tell me your dreams?
15. If I was down would you say things to make me smile?
16. If I was with some other chick and someone happened to see, and when you asked me about it I said it wasn't me, would you believe me or up and leave me? (Technically according to Chicago-style formatting, this is two questions, but we'll give 50 the benefit of the doubt.)
17. How deep is our bond if that's all it takes for you to be gone?
18. Could you love me in a Bentley? (twice)
19. Could you love me on a bus? (twice)

"I'll ask 21 questions, and they all about us."
There's actually only 14 questions about "us". The other 5 are just about her.

50 Cent Questions = 21*
*Technically, there's only 19 different questions.

Nate Dogg Questions = 12*
*Two questions, six times a piece.

Total Questions in the song = 33*
*There are in fact, 21 different questions.

2012: Resolutions and Predictions (Redux)

2012-01-03T20:47:00.000-08:00

Tried to deny having "resolutions" when truth is, I have 'em. Post was sloppy, let's tighten her up the second time around...

2010 Resolutions
-wanted to give up soda and biting my fingernails; 0-2.

2011 Resolutions
1. Go to grad school - I didn't.
Score = 0/1
2. New Career - Started freelance writing.
Score = .5/2
3. Decision on kids - still can't decide.
Score = .5/3
4. Pay off Katie's car - DID IT!
Score = 1.5/4
5. Go to Canada and Montana - We made it to MT.
Score = 2.5/5

As I stated in a prior post, 2011 treated me like crap. Therefore, I fully intend on hitting 2012 HARD.

2012 resolutions:
1. Maintain good health and fitness
A month ago I decided to go back to the gym and start eating right. I could have started today, but why wait? Five weeks at it and I'm seeing and feeling results. Now I just want to keep it going. The eating is harder than the fitness. I've given up a lot of stuff I love to eat.

2. A NO soda streak
I'm not going to be unrealistic and say I'm giving it up. I just want to see how long I can go without. My record is something like two or three months.

3. Cut WAY back on sugar
Again, I'm not going to be unrealistic and cut out sugar altogether. That's impossible for me. I simply want to cut back, a lot. The cookies, brownies, candy, snacks, and what not.

4. Finish the front yard
In 2011 we started this project by getting half concrete and a new fence. Unfortunately, we waited too long to finish and the rain and cold snuck up on us. Come Spring, we'll be roto-tilling it, covering it, dumping rocks, and some sort of shrubbery.

5. Tighten up my professional self
Reading through past blog posts, I see I've talked and talked and talked (and talked) about jobs, careers, who I am professionally, and what am I doing, and dream jobs, and...you get the idea. This year - less talk, more action. I'm going to figure out what I'm doing. More importantly, I want to dress better, more professionally. My wardrobe is that of a boys. It's almost embarrassing. T-shirts galore... time for more dress shirts and a tie or two.

6. Teach the dogs some tricks
Small goal: continue teaching the dogs tricks. Whether that's more intense fetch (including heal and multiple targets), or better, calmer walking, I'm not sure. But I want them calmer in general and more well trained. And even more so, I want ZERO vet visits sparked from stupid dogs.

7. $10K in the Savings
Because I've never done it before and we're adults now so...yeah.

8. Eat dinner at the table
Because every family should, shouldn't they? I have Katie in on this too. So if we're ever over at your house for dinner, you'll find us at your table too, even if it isn't mandatory. We'll be expecting the same from you at ours. Such a simple concept... seems so easy doesn't it?

2012 Events-
Not much on the plate this year. Typically we have two vacations planned. This year? none yet. We are going to Colorado in June for my brother's wedding. While there, we're catching an A's-Rockies game.

Perhaps Disneyland?

More Kings game I think... one so far...

Predictions-
1. My cat will die
He looks bad. Heartless to say out loud? I don't think so. He's lived a good life and a long time. I'm just facing reality. He doesn't eat much, he's bones, his hair is thin, he does less than normal cats do, and he's losing his internal systems. I'm convinced he has leukemia. I'm prepared I think. In fact, Katie and I have a bet. She thinks he'll live forever. If he outlives 2012, she wins. If he dies, I win.

2. Katie will get even skinnier/more fit
Hear that? Not bigger, as in pregnant. Nuh-uh! I think her fitness goal is crazy but she goes beast mode very easily, so I have full confidence and believe she will hit her goal. And no, this is not in preparation for having a child. Let's get off that talk altogether.

3. After the front is finished, we'll start our next project
Which I think will be the guest bathroom. Before and after pics for both.

4. Lizzie gets engaged
Whaaaaaaat??? NO pressure Cameron. (He doesn't read this anyway.)

It's a weird feeling that I have. I have nothing planned exactly. No super strict goals and resolutions. There's stuff I'd like to see happen and stuff I know will happen. But even through a lack of plans, I really feel deep down this is my year. I'm going to really step up this year and change my life. I can feel it.

And it all started with a Denver Broncos playoff berth to set the bar for the whole year on day one.

Top 10: Keith Urban songs

2012-01-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

Katie and I had so much fun and liked the challenge of top ten Tim McGraw songs, we're doing Keith Urban and Kenny Chesney songs next. I used to be a BIG fan of Urban but his recent stuff, not so much. We'll see how different these lists are.

Nick's List:
HMs - You're My Better Half, Days Go By
10. It's a Love Thing

9. Long Hot Summer

8. God's Been Good to Me

7. Where the Blacktop Ends
6. Better Life
5. Live to Love Another Day
4. Somebody Like You
3. You Look Good in My Shirt
2. Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me
1. Jeans On

Katie's List:
HMs - Without You, Long Hot Summer
10. You're Gonna Fly With Me

9. Live to Love Another Day
8. Better Life
7. Sweet Thing
6. Jeans On
5. My Better Half
4. Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me
3. I'm In
2. Somebody Like You
1. You Look Good in My Shirt

Combined List:
10. Where the Blacktop Ends

10. Sweet Thing

8. Better Life

7. You're My Better Half

6. I'm In

5. Live to Love Another Day

4. Jeans On

3. Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me

3. Somebody Like You

1. You Look Good in My Shirt

2011: The Year in Review

2011-12-31T12:00:00.000-08:00

Included is the best year in news/sports/etc. I found from around the web. Below that is my own personal year, which in a nutshell, sucked badly (but do feel free to read anyway).

Here is MSN's YiR of celebs and the best TV/movies/music (entertaining read)
Likewise Yahoo! (in depth) and Twitter (interesting)
Winner = CBS - Organized pages of quotes, movies, sports, deaths, world news, controversies, YouTube greatest, and much much more.

Here are the best video reviews I could find. The first is the best, the second fills in a couple holes. I tried to find a funny year in review, but couldn't. How depressing.

My own year was terrible. I've even said multiple times throughout, this was the worst year of my life. Sounds dramatic, but one year is always going to be the worst and if this is it (so far), I'm comfortable with that. Below is what I remember. If it's not listed, it's because I didn't remember.

January
I got sick twice in the first two weeks of the new year. I know this because I made a joke of it. "Sick twice already? Let's count how many times I get sick this year." I didn't count. I got a part time job writing for Reputation.com

February
My grandmother died. This was the biggestd death I've had to face up to this point. It was difficult. Work giving me a hard time didn't help.

April
My best friend growing up's mother passes. Way too soon and way too young. Started a sports blog with friends: Balls and Seeds

May
Four weeks into the softball season I tore my rotator cuff. It put me out until four weeks left in the season. Eight months later, I still tweak it or hurt it every once in awhile. I fear it will never be the same. Getting an MRI was the worst.

June
I programmed an amazing sports camp at work. It doubled expected attendees but after I ran my center for six months, I was moved to a new one. I got a part-time job writing for CBS Sacramento's Best of website.

July
Jasmine is attacked by a rottweiler. She now has scars around her face from where his teeth went through her skin.

August
Saw my Montana family in Montana for the first time in probably 10 years. It was an awesome, much needed vacation.

September
We re-modeled our front yard with a new fence/gate and cement. Katie and I finished "The Houser Project": over a year of watching the 100 Greatest Movies of All Time.

October
Tebow Time starts for my football team.

November
Took a vacation to Mexico for a friend's wedding. Saw Chichen Itza. Jasmine eats a towel and requires $2800 worth of surgery. I got a sports writing internship (starts Jan.) with The Bleacher Report.

December
I lost my Reputation job. Boo! I got back to the gym and started eating right.

Misc.
Introduced to Mad Men and Modern Family. Bought a laptop. I read a lot more this year. Katie solidified her hatred of Abu. I'm still working with kids. My Twitter game got hot.

My goals from last year:
Dogs calm down - in progress
Finish the backyard - in progress
Hit a homerun in softball (over the fence) - fail
Get picked up for a tournament - fail
Family trip to Canada and Montana - half fail/half success
Pay Katie's car off - success
Finalize a decision on having children - in progress
Land a new career - in progress
Go to grad school - fail

And then there was Charlie Sheen who spent 2011 "winning".

December Movie Reviews

2011-12-30T20:15:00.000-08:00

After finishing AFI's 100 Greatest Movies of All-Time list, Katie and I wanted to catch up on some current flicks. As such, here's what we watched and rated in the month of December:

Sherlock Holmes (2009) - Didn't expect the bone-breaking fight scenes but liked the action and the story. Didn't like how they already set it up to make a sequel.
3.5 STARS -- Your Call

Horrible Bosses (2011) - If you can handle super crude language, this one is pretty funny! Jennifer Aniston is in a role you've never seen her in and would never expect but she nails it.
3.5 STARS -- Sure, why not?

The Blind Side (2009) - Has the ability to reduce a man into a little girl. Michael Oher's story is a sad one, only made immensely better by Sandra Bullock's character's graciousness.
5 STARS -- MUST CATCH

Crazy, Stupid Love (2011) - Has a little something for everyone, girls, guys, older, younger. It's a love story, but a clever one. Carrell is serious, Gosling was "a fox," and there are lots of funny real life situations.
4.5 STARS -- Catch it!

The Adjustment Bureau (2011) - Not what I epected AT ALL but I liked it! Matt Damon is great.
4 STARS -- Catch it!

The Time Traveler's Wife (2009) - The two things you need to know about this movie are this: Rachel McAdams is smoking hot and the story is crazy sad. It's a great movie, but I'm tempted to tell you to spare yourself the 2 hour, emotional exhaustion you will get.
4.5 STARS -- Your Call

Anticipated January movies
Fast Five
The Fighter
Due Date
Source Code
Hall Pass

The "It's a Wonderful Life" Effect

2011-12-29T16:42:00.000-08:00

Can you imagine what the world would be like without you? In "It's a Wonderful Life" an angel pays the main character a visit to show him just that. What if that happened to you?

I'm not going to push a message about having life good and stop complaining on you. It's just an interesting notion to think about, if you truly do it deep enough.

Your parents never have you. Does their relationship change? How are your siblings affected?
In my case I imagine a few scenarios, parent and sibling wise, could happen.

Think of all the people you've met. All of them. From birth to now. Through grade school, junior high, high school, college, various jobs, family members, neighborhood friends and neighbors, community members... it's a lot of people. Even if you've never met them, and they've just seen you. The chances of affecting ONE person are great. But if you're not there... no one.

Here's a bit how I'm going to imagine it, obviously in bad format to make myself feel better.

I'm not born. My parents continue with whatever it is they were doing, and end up with a different version of me. He's a total dick. And not nearly as handsome. Or, they just split anyway before a me happens. In that case, my siblings from my mom and from my dad don't hang out or mingle, remain cordial/friends as adults because of the missing link. In fact, after a split, there's much communication between the two at all, ever. Tons of epic star-gazing nights don't happen because I don't beg. Likewise, my brother isn't motivated to scare the crap out of my sister and her friends on her birthday; no one sneaks off ahead during the Christmas tree searches to throw snowballs from nowhere; and no red wagon tied to bicycles.

My second grade class never gets a clown to visit in the classroom. It was for my birthday. That'd be a tragedy.

If I'm not around, my parents don't need to send me to Davis for junior high and high school. Thus, I don't fall in love with that town, want to go back to college, major in Human Development, and work with kids, all in Davis. Combined that is about 100 kids I've worked with. This doesn't include about 100 more in West Sac, and 150+ for the City of Sac. And the 60 elderly at the Assisted Living in between. That's a lot of activities I've programmed that people have learned new things and decided they liked new things (or vice versa). That's a lot of practices I never share with others who take it to their centers. None of those kids learn that "when you become an adult, you still pick your nose, just in private." The ONE kid who turns into a professional athlete, from the one sports camp I was at didn't fall in love and get his start

If I don't exist, I don't put together a softball team. I don't invite my friend Nick who gets his then step-dad who nearly goes into diabetic shock. If he still has it that day anyway, there's no telling when and where. Separately, but still softball, a near fight never starts between two of my teammates which leads to an entire brawl one year later. Maybe there's no softball at all (at least in West Sac) for about 50 people due to me not helping put teams together. (No Nads? Perhaps not. Therefore no Long Haul Bombers, or six other names they/we had.) The landscape of West Sac softball is changed.

I think I was the level-headed kid in my court and on my street when I was super young. The only kid of the group that ever said, "I don't think this a good idea." That crew probably gets into trouble or hurt a lot more often. No bike rides to McDonald's. No free milkshakes.

No one in high school learns to visit the lunch lady at the end of lunch. No one gets free lunches like me.

Katie ends up married, just to someone else I'm sure. They probably have kids a lot sooner. They probably don't travel as much though. I'm going to make-believe pretend he's a jerk. Katie never finds herself rooting for Tim Tebow and the Broncos. She also never has Abu. A few good things I guess...

I never grow up to figure out I'm really good at writing, write a few books, maybe television shows, all making quite a bit of money, so I feel comfortable donating to charity and foundations, then working with them later, like the Tebow Foundation or Make-A-Wish where I help even more people (fingers crossed God is listening) before getting into acting and entertaining the masses.

Without me here, to write this, for you to read... would you have considered this at all, ever? Would you have pondered what the world would be like without your presence? The answer is no. You can thank me later.

Top 10 Tim McGraw songs

2011-12-28T17:30:00.000-08:00

Recently Katie and I went to a Tim McGraw concert. He debuted a new song "Better Than I Was" and I immediately considered it one of my favorites. Finally, it's been released for purchase on iTunes. So it got us thinking: if we put together a top ten of ALLLLLLL his songs, which ten would make the special cut? Well, I tried it. Ten songs is not enough for Tim McGraw. I almost ranked all of them, because I had a hard time narrowing it down after 45. The best I could do was 25. Below mine, Katie threw in her top ten faves. Here they are:

25. She Never Lets It Go To Her Heart
24. My Old Friend
23. Please Remember Me
22. Hard on the Ticker
21. Tiny Dancer
20. For a Little While
19. Eyes of a Woman
18. All I Want is a Life
17. You Just Get Better All the Time
16. Blank Sheet of Paper
15. Red Ragtop
14. My Best Friend
13. My Next Thirty Years
12. Where the Green Grass Grows
11. Indian Outlaw

#10: Southern Voice

It's the guitar, harmonica, foot-tapping, and references.

#9: Felt Good on My Lips

I like the background guitar you hear immediately at the beginning of the song. And the idea. Dude's down, but he says "screw it".

#8: Real Good Man

Again, the guitar, shocking. The rednecky feel. It has a classic older stuff Tim McGraw sound. And again, I like the idea: a badass in general but he's good to his woman. Feels like Indian Outlaw but more realistic.

#7: Unbroken

The chorus is awesome for two reasons. 1) You can blast it and belt it. 2) It's a pleasant idea to think about, a person that erases all the terrible past.

#6: Down on the Farm

It's the farmer in me. How can you not like/move to this song? Makes me want to throw on some shitkickers, drive out to the haybails in my truck and doh-see-doh.

#5: Better Than I Used to Be

Why do I like this song? Uhm, because it's basically me. The first time I heard it, I thought, "wow, that really describes me."

#4: It's Your Love/I Need You

I put both because they (and "Let's Make Love") are all kind of the same style. I LOVE this song. I wanted it to be my wedding song (my sister stole it). First, I just know every word. I feel it. It feels real. It's the perfect way to describe love. It literally warms my heart. That and knowing the back story of this song and Tim&Faith is a bit sexy.

#3: The Cowboy in Me

Now, if I think "Better Than I Used to Be" is my song, Katie thinks this one is me. And it kind of is. Pretty much spot on actually. Every single word.

#2: I Like It, I Love It

Another guitar one that gets you at the very beginning. Then something about the "I throwed out my shoulder" snags me deeper. Throw in an Atlanta Braves reference and I'm super sold. This is a classic. Probably in everyone's top five.

#1: Somethin' Like That

Find me one person that hasn't heard the reference "I had a BBQ stain on my white t-shirt." Find me one person that doesn't know and like this song.

*This was one of the hardest posts I've ever done. Katie on the other hand flew through this. Here is her top ten:

10. All I Want is a Life
9. Live Like You Were Dyin'
8. The Cowboy In Me
7. Souther Voice
6. My Next 30 Years
5. I Need You
4. Real Good Man
3. Unbroken
2. Where the Green Grass Grows
1. Somethin' Like That

How football proves God exists (at least to me)

2011-12-27T15:25:00.000-08:00

And yes, it involves Tim Tebow. But seriously, a connection between God and football? This is going to be a hard sell, but hear me out.

Example One: Drew Brees
Brees is an NFL quarterback currently on the New Orleans Saints. Before joining the Saints, he played for the San Diego Chargers for five years. During this stint, he sat for two years and started for three, leading the Chargers once to an 8-8 record and twice to an AFC West championship. The Chargers weren't big on him and drafted a new quarterback before his contract was up. When it did expire, he was offered a low-incentive based contract out of fear of a major injury he sustained in Week 17 of the 2005 season. Still following? Bear with me through these stats.

Ultimately, Brees joins the Saints just one year removed from a major devastation due to Hurricane Katrina. The Dolphins were the only other team interested. Scared of Brees' injury, they traded for Dante Culpepper.

In 2006, his first year, he leads the league in passing yards, helps win the NFC South, is named the starter at the Pro Bowl, and wins the MVP. 2007 he sets a team record for passing TDs, and breaks the NFL record for pass completions in a season. 2008 he throws for over 5,000 yards and 300+ yards per game in 10 games.

From here we pretty much know the rest: 2009 the Saints win the Super Bowl. 2010 they start 13-0. Brees is named Sportsman of the Year. And in 2011, on his way to playoffs, Drew Brees throws more yards in a season than anyone else ever before.

But his accomplishments don't stop there. Drew Brees is recognized for his efforts in rebuilding New Orleans after Hurricane K. 16 NFL records aside, he runs the Brees Dream Foundation. Brees goes on frequent USO tours, campaigns against bullying, provides oil spill prevention awareness, and serves on the President's Council of Fitness, Sports, and Nutrition.

Not only is Drew Brees a hero to the city of New Orleans, he's a role model in the entire nation. You could argue he single-handedly helped the entire area rise back up. It seems silly maybe, that a sporting event can pick them back up. But think about it? Where would they be today without a solid, Super Bowl winning team with a charitable captain? Let's keep everything the exact same and keep Aaron Brooks as the quarterback. What does New Orleans look like today? Still rebuilding? I think so.

Side note: There's an argument that New Orleans with their party lifestyle and Fat Tuesday could be seen as a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah with all the booze and sex. And then the Lord rained down. Now, I'm not saying I buy this argument. It's just something interesting I heard. It was actually this that sparked the entire argument above that:

Drew Brees is only on the Saints because the Chargers didn't want him, the Dolphins were too scared, and no one else in the NFL wanted him either. Interesting to think he comes to a devastated New Orleans ONE year after and resurrects the city.

Example Two: Tim Tebow
I find it funny and unavoidable that Tim Tebow grew up saying, "I want to play football and I want to use it as a platform for God." and what does he do? He plays football and uses it as a platform for God. But think further. He wasn't supposed to be born. Doctors told his mom to basically abort or die. She refused because abortion, to her, was not God's will. Tim survived. So did she.

He was small and malnourished. Look at him now.

He wasn't supposed to play quarterback. He did. He wasn't supposed to be good enough for Florida. He went. He was just a system guy. That now holds Florida records. He wasn't supposed to be a first round draft pick. He was. Now he's a starter. He's a winner. And he might be a Pro Bowler.

My question is: How does one guy, have one mission in life, know that mission from as early as four, and actually go through with it as perfectly planned as can be? There's no explanation for Tebow's success! Even more, he still continues to attribute everything to God, nonchalantly, as if to acknowledge that he knew this was the plan the entire time.

I'm just saying: a lot of people choose to pursue faith, religion, and God. Some have higher platforms than others. But has anyone set out like this and had this much success at it? Lots of people play football and are touted, then don't do anything in the NFL. How does Tim Tebow do both so well?

Summary:

Drew Brees is only wanted by the Saints. Look what he's done there since. Tim Tebow has done exactly what he has sought out to do in the face of adversity, overcoming obstacle after obstacle.

My point is, it seems pretty clear...

God has a plan for us all.

Top 10 Christmas Movies

2011-12-25T20:39:00.000-08:00

After the 15 minutes it took to open presents, you might have found yourself with a whole day left. Good thing there's been a plethora of Christmas movies on the entire month. Had we (Katie and I) had the day to kick back and relax with family, cocoa, and a television, here's what we (yes, she helped) would have been most excited to find:

Honorable Mentions: Jingle All the Way, The Polar Express

#10: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Ah yes, the Griswald's. When better to spend time with one of thier crazy antic filled vacations than Christmas? Between Clark's mishaps and Eddie's brilliance, there's no better family in history to remind you, your family holiday time isn't so bad.

#9: Elf

Will Ferrell believes he's an Elf. An actual elf, from Santa's workshop. Will Ferrell. As an elf. Will Ferrell. Catching what I'm throwing? Put said character and actor in funny looking tights in New York City. Comedy gold.

#8: Mickey's A Christmas Carol
We all know the tale, Scrooge hates Christmas and everyone in general. But when he's visited by the Ghosts of Christmas he changes his ways. Admit it, even as adults we can still find comfort in cartoons, ESPECIALLY Disney. And who better to play Scrooge than Scrooge McDuck? Haunted by a Goofy ghost of the past. It's perfect.

#7: White Christmas
If you've never had a White Christmas, you know this is something you actually dream about having just once. It's got Bing Crosby, singing and dancing, and an old-time "used to watch it with my Grandparents" feel to it. Nothing like a classic movie to enjoy with generations on the holidays.

#6: The Nightmare Before Christmas

So it's not super Christmasy for the first 3/4 of the movie. In fact, it's more Halloweeny. But the creativity, the story, the stop-motion animation... it's all very clever. The songs are catchy too! In the end, you get a touching realization and a(n untypical) goat becomes the (unlikely) hero.

#5: The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
This is one of the few most of us are glad they actually remade. I don't think there could have been a better Grinch than Jim Carey. The little girl Who is ridiculously cute. It really is perfect: good remake/update, stuck to the story, cute and good for kids, funny and a nice refresher on the story for adults.

#4: It's a Wonderful Life
This movie is awesome. Super uplifting, super sweet. It's an old school classic, so possibly another you grew up watching with your grandparents and your parents watched as kids. The story and the moral are quaint and nice. Don't complain about what you've got because you might not realize A) how good you've got it and B) what it'd be like without you, how much you've put your mark on the world. This one sounds like it's on blog post in the near future. So heartwarming.

#3: Scrooged

So it's a bit dark. And it's the same story as A Christmas Carol. Yet, it's different. The darkness makes it different, but it's still so funny. Bill Murray plays the lead, he's a total jerk. But the entire movie you watch him slowly unfolding from his mean spirited actions. The ghosts aren't cute, they're creepy. The lessons learned are the same, but harsher. It's a big boy story of A Christmas Carol. Ain't no kiddie version.

#2: The Santa Claus
This movie is amazing. Who doesn't want their dad to be Santa? Who wouldn't want to be Santa themselves? Besides it's just so stinkin' cute and funny! There is seriously nothing wrong with this movie. Not one scene is crap. Becoming Santa, hilarious. The off-season, hilarious. Christmas the next year, hilarious. It's just so good!

#1: The Home Alone Franchise

At least 1 and 2 that is. There's two things we Americans love. Christmas, and laughing at other people getting hurt (why is that?). Combine the two, and you've got Home Alone. Home Alone is a pop culture icon. Who from our generation hasn't put aftershave on for the first time and thought back to this movie? There's something about the mix of danger, excitement, and kid-winning that thrills us. Beating up bad guys, all by yourself, saving your home and self, and fooling many into believing you're surrounded by adults. Recipes for success if you ask us.

Verna Sulpizio: 1st ever "Floatie" Award winner!

2011-12-24T12:39:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas Eve and I find myself SUPER impressed with a particular individual. This person, friend Verna Sulpizio, successfully organized efforts which received 100+ toys for children this holiday season. For that, I've decided to create an award, and recognize Verna as the first to receive it.

Verna capitalized on her friends' interest in going out, bar-hopping, pub-crawling, drinking, socializing, etc. and created an Ugly Christmas Sweater Pub Crawl in 2009. Now in its third year, Verna turned her social event for a close group into a fundraising event involving uncountable participants.

The event asked for a donation of one unwrapped toy per person. A toy nets a wristband. A wristbanded person obtains drink specials. Through Verna's perseverance, she was able to get hookups on, or at least find places with, drink specials for the wristbanded crew.

Her marketing efforts could be seen on Facebook, in person, and on the CBS Sacramento website, and it showed. She created flyers and handed them out the night of. It was easy to spot strangers picking up the flyers at each bar. Tons of people, likely in the 50s, friends of friends, some donning ridiculous get-ups, some there for the fun... either way, no matter what they were there for personally, most had a toy to donate.

At one point I spotted Verna, visibly exhausted due to all of her effort. I caught up to her at the 3rd bar, skipped the 4th, and saw her again at the 5th. There she mentioned she had just taken 4 trips to the car with toys and her trunk was overflowing. I don't even think the hostess of this awesome event had time to get a drink herself...

So for all of that effort and exhaustion, the brilliance, the marketing, the organizing, the creativity; all in the name of St. John's Shelter for Women and Children (who said, "we'll have Christmas for 2 weeks!")

December 2011 Floatie Award Winner (and 1st EVER!): Verna Sulpizio!

High School Spotlight: Amy Von Rummelhoff

2011-12-22T17:30:00.000-08:00

You may not recognize her name. In fact, if you look her up in the yearbook (or Google her name), you may not even recognize her at all. But her post-high school achievements are incredibly easy to recognize.

Between 2001-03, a shy Amy Von Rummelhoff spent her days with a small group of peers. She was focused on succeeding academically and dedicated much of her early life to figure skating, something not many ever even knew about.

After graduating from Davis Senior High School in 2003, Amy moved to Southern California to study psychology and studio art at the University of California, San Diego. While there she got into the field of marketing, taking advantage of a booming San Diego nightlife to promote products, businesses, and events. She also ran marketing and events for a clothing company before the company folded.

Her hard work quickly paid off. Receiving invaluable experience both in the field and personally, Amy utilized her talents by coordinating weddings on her own. Still, there was something missing.

"Although it was interesting," Amy said, "I felt a bit in a rut."

But once again, luck would strike in her favor.

"Somebody who found my website contacted me and asked me to help with the production of the Grammys [in 2009]."

Without hesitation Amy headed to L.A. Three grueling days of set up later, she was invited back to help out once again. (That camera angle you're watching from, that's Amy. Where those stars start their walks from and stop to speak, that's Amy. Those decorations in the background? You guessed it.)

A magical thing happened while in Los Angeles; Amy fell in love. With the city of course. Staying was a no brainer.

"I currently live in West Hollywood," said Amy. "I have no plans of moving in the near future. I love the atmosphere and opportunities available around me."

Today she owns the special event planning firm, AVR PR. Her clientele, still growing, has featured Eva Longoria's Charity Rally For Kids With Cancer, a dinner cruise for charity.

"I absolutely love the field that I work in. It has definitely been a journey getting to where I am and believe me it's had its ups and downs but I would not do anything else."

But while she may not do anything else career-wise, her ambitions don't stop there.

"I'm also a certified personal trainer," she says. "I've been doing fitness modeling for a few years [too]." Her work includes spots in the Shake Weight, Ab Rocket, and UFC Undisputed video game commercials. Likewise, she has a six-page layout in Fitness Gurls Magazine's November 2011 edition as well as several additional print ads.

Amy Von Rummelhoff clearly enjoys herself in Hollywood, operating events, occassionally rubbing elbows with celebrities, and appearing on our televisions. But even though being a table away from Heidi Klum or Sandra Bullock is just in a day's work, she never forgets her Davis friends.

"Avery [last name removed for privacy purposes] is still one of my best friends," she said. "We've been best friends since the fourth grade."

As for her advice to the 2003 grads still trying to find themselves, Amy had this to offer:

"It took me awhile post college to figure out what it was I wanted to do," said Amy. "I always recommend trying everything to see what your true passion is and sometimes you may fail a few times before you truly succeed in the industry you love."

Once shy and quiet, Amy used the passion and dedication developed in figure skating to become one of Hollywood's up-and-coming events and marketing figures.

Even still, "as far as my personality and outward appearance are concerned it's a full 180," she said. "I feel like inside, as far as what I stand for and who my friends are, have not changed."

"I know a lot of people say they hardly recognize me any more. I guess it just took me awhile to come into my own," she said with a smile made for tv.

The Ish We Carry (Up. 12/18)

2011-12-18T17:17:00.002-08:00

Katie and I live a so close to her parents, it's silly to drive. Unfortunately, it's far enough to look really odd walking things down the street. Here's a list of ALL the things we've carried back and forth. If any of the neighbors on either side of the 150 yard walk saw the things we transport to and from, they might think we were crazy. That, and/or thieves.

The List:

A bed frame, put together
3 bottled beers in a bag
A griddle
1/4 cup milk, in the measuring cup (twice)
eggs - 5 dozen
various bags of potato chips
2 puppies, carried not walked
A pair of crutches
ladder
lawn edger
garbage disposal, brand new, in the box
office chair, we rolled it
tupperware
dishes
old bridesmaid and prom dresses
potatoes, cooked, to be served
softball equipment (bats and a glove)
geared up for soccer games (jerseys, shin guards, and socks)
christmas presents
christmas ornaments
roses in a vase, taken from Katie's parent's backyard
a bag containing champagne, lettuce, opened parmasan cheese, an almost empty bottle of ranch dressing, and an open bag of croutons
orange juice, only 1/3 full
two shovels
wheelbarrow empty - wheelbarrow back full of compost (X8 w/ dirt)
2 dogs bowls twice, once full with food, once with the food in a Target bag
Rigatoni noodles in a box
Garage Door opener
Dog run fence panels
A hose
French bread
2 buckets full of dirt, multiple times
Mustard
Salad in the serving bowl
Pair of old jeans
Cookware for poached eggs
A bag of pumpkin cookies

I'm sure there is more we're forgetting, this least is not nearly complete. It'll be updated periodically with more ridiculous items... and stocked with more pictures of this stuff.

The Time Traveler's Wife

2011-12-17T17:22:00.000-08:00

We watched "The Time Traveler's Wife" the other night. The movie review will be in another post. This one's about my issue with time travel (and other things).

(((SPOILER ALERT)))

A quick premise: Eric Bana travels time. He meets Rachel McAdams when she's little, she waits to grow up, finds him and now madly in love with him, they marry. Trust me, this isn't giving anything away.

My biggest concern is this, where does it begin? Let's take Time Traveler's Wife for example. Rachel McAdams meets Eric Bana when he's like 30, she's like 23. He has no clue who she is. She tells him, "you met me when I was six and visited me often. I fell in love with you." He has no idea. So he looks through her diary to get the dates he went back to visit her on all of those dates. To meet her, to make her fall in love with him because now at this point, he's in love with the current version. BUT WHERE WAS THE VERY FIRST MEETING? THE FIRST ONE. I don't like the idea of history just repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating with no beginning.

Every once in awhile, a future version or past version of himself visits McAdams while the current version is somewhere else. So how does the current version of himself know where he is? Or get back to HER current year?

This doesn't happen in TTTW, but it's an issue with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It's the notion of changing time. So if Harry gets hit with a rock and starts sneaking around just like the former version of himself did... and then thinks he sees his Dad, but it turns out to be himself... how does he change parts (such as saving the beast which changes EVERYTHING?) Wouldn't a former version have done that? And now are there no more versions? Is it done now?

I'm not even touching how insanely difficult it would be to time travel uncontrollably, not knowing where you're going. Or if you knew when and where you were going to die, why wouldn't you try like crazy to avoid it? Or if your wife sleeps with a younger version of you... it still felt like she was cheating.

Rachel McAdams that is.. not Katie.

A week of teaching kids "empathy"

2011-12-16T19:33:00.000-08:00

Last week I came home frustrated because the kids at work refused to help others: specifically, sick children with no toys. I planned a week of community service and fundraising anyway, and went into this week hoping for the best. The adventure has been interesting.

Last Wednesday
My boss really wants us to do some sort of community service. I survey the kids. No interest. Literally, zero. Here is the actual conversation:

Me: "Wednesday we're hosting a Toy Swap where you bring in the toys you don't want, pick ONE thing from the pile, and we donate the rest to children without toys."
Kids: "I don't have any toys I don't want."
Me: "There's children that don't have ANY toys."
Kids: "So?"
Me: "If you didn't have any toys, wouldn't you want someone to donate the toys they don't play with anymore?"
Kids: "We have toys."
Me: "Anyway! Thursday we're doing a Jog-A-Thon to raise money to donate to charity."
Kids: "What a waste. We could spend that money on buying ourselves things."

At this point, I sent a letter home to parents regarding our plan, activities, goals, how they can help, and a request to pump their kids up over the weekend and explain to them empathy.

Monday
Trash pick up day. Helping the environment. We form in two teams. They could care a less. I give everyone a job: bag holder, tally marker, regular trash grabbers, NASTY things grabber (with gloves). Suddenly they're all about it.
GOAL = 50 pieces between the two teams
ACTUAL = 460 between both... in 30 minutes.

Tuesday
We wrote letters to the elderly community. The letters turned into Christmas cards which was ok. The kids decided to include jewelry and paintings. It was awesome.
GOAL = 30 total, at least 1 per kid
ACTUAL = 30, and at least 1 per kid

Wednesday
We wanted to host a Toy Swap. Unfortunately when I arrived, only 8 toys had been donated. But it was a start. We did something else for the day.
GOAL = 15 kids, 2 toys each minimum (30 toys, donate 15)
ACTUAL = 8

We also held a Hot Cocoa fundraiser. $1 for a cup. $1.50 for the works (add marshmellows and whip).
GOAL = $40
ACTUAL = $22

Thursday
The Jog-A-Thon was cancelled due to rain, wet grass, and incredibly cold wind. Instead we decided to write letters to Santa. For Mr. Nick found out that every letter to Santa Macy's collects, they donate $1 to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. It also gave us an extra day to promote the J-A-T planned for Friday.
GOAL = 17 letters (1 per kid)
ACTUAL = 15 letters (12 kids, 3 adults)

Friday
The last event. It's been a long week. At this point, about five more toys have been donated and our center went through all of our books as well, filling up an entire trash bag to donate. I made a deal with the kids, if they beat me in laps, I'd pay $5. If they doubled my total, I'd pay $10. PLUS a quarter per lap (Before you think I'm a cheapskate, I ran a lot of laps AND our goal was low.) The kids had a blast trying to beat me... and they were successful, due in large part to a kindergartner who ran 4 miles.
GOAL = $40 raised. 10 kids to run a mile each for 10 miles total.
ACTUAL = $145 raised. 8 participants which ran a total of 20 miles.

The kids voted to send all of the money to the Make-A-Wish Foundation as well. I dropped off our care package to University Retirement on my way home. I'll take the letters to Macy's this weekend. The toys are going to Lilliput Children's Services.

TOTAL GOAL = 50 pieces of trash, 30 letters, 15 toys, $80 to a charity of their choice.

TOTAL ACTUAL = 460 pieces of trash, 30 letters with jewelry and art, 12-15 toys, $170 raised for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Mr. Nick ran 3.75 miles. The staff as a whole ran 20 laps. The kids ran 62.

Mr. Nick is both mentally... and physically exhausted...

It was a good week though.

"I Have Tebow Mania"

2011-12-15T21:49:00.001-08:00

Many friends and family members will support me when I say I'm a long time Denver Broncos fan. Naturally therefore, I'm a Tebow fan. But I think I've crossed into mania with this latest act.

I never paid much attention to the guy while he was in college. Yeah, he was good. Then the Broncos drafted him, and I was stoked. Why not take a chance on a player like him? It's exciting and maybe he'll do some big things for my team.

Figuring I know nothing about him really, I picked up his book, "Through My Eyes". I really liked it. It was inspiring. It literally inspired me to be a better person. Any time I have something heavy on my mind or heart, I pray on it. Not for answers, but for guidance. I also adopted the mantra "Finish Strong" and always think of others working harder than me when I'm working, thinking to myself, "work harder. Be the hardest worker right now. Let no one work harder than you today." It was powerful and I felt connected to the guy.

So now he's winning and he's doing it for my team which is even better. And SportsCenter, ESPN, and every other media outlet never stops talking about him. I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand I'm glad for the exposure. The Broncos haven't been so terrible they're on watch, but haven't been good. Therefore, nothing. Now it's every segment, every day. Part of me is happy. Part of me thinks, go talk about someone else's team.

The other night I do some research on the Tebow Foundation and it hits me. This is perfect. I'm good at what I do (working with children) and that's the only experience I really have. But I want to work with children more in need; I want to make a stronger difference. Combine my experience and what I'm good at with my fanhood for Tebow and you've got... me working for the Tebow Foundation. So that's my new goal.

Already enamored by this guy, I watch the special on ESPN last night, "Tim Tebow: Everything in Between" and I know for certain I have a total man crush. He's super inspiring in everything he does. Everything from helping others, to respecting others, praising God, and working hard. Even at the gym, I'm thinkin Tebow Time. I'm trying to push myself. I muttering, "Tebow wouldn't give up. Tebow would push harder. Tebow would do this with heavier weights. PUSH!"

So he's affected my sports passion, my career goals, my gym time... and now my dreams apparently too, for this morning I woke to find that in the middle of last night, apparently I woke up and typed a note into my iPhone which said...

"I have Tebow Mania."

Trade Guy

2011-12-11T11:57:00.000-08:00

Every fantasy football league has the "trade guy", the guy who sends ridiculous trades to everyone, every week. I decided to keep track of all of his proposals.

In week one he wanted:
Matt Ryan
Roddy White
Chris Johnson
Cedric Benson

for...

Mark Sanchez
Beanie Wells
Wes Welker
Jamaal Charles

Why not take it? Sanchez is trash. Giving up way too much. No one gives up CJ2K in week one.

In week two he wanted:
Roddy White
Chris Johnson

for..

Brandon Marshall
Beanie Wells
Wes Welker

Why not take it? No one gives up CJ2K in week two. I was unsure of Wells and don't like Marshall.

In week three he wanted:
Dwayne Bowe
Ahmad Bradshaw

for...

Percy Harvin
James Starks
Denarius Moore

Why not take it? Harvin was already injured and misses a lot due to migraines - pass. Moore was a flash. And James Starks? Seriously? Bradshaw was my most consistent so far.

Then he wanted:
Matt Ryan
Roddy White
Ahmad Bradshaw

for...

Matt Schaub
Plaxico Burress
Owen Daniels
James Starks

Why not take it? Plax hadn't done anything up to that point, Starks no thank you, and I already had Tony Gonzalez at tight end.

As soon as I declined that he sent:
Matt Ryan
Ahmad Bradshaw
Roddy White

for...

Schaub
Plaxico
Starks
Jeff King

Why not take it? Uhm... seriously?

Week Four he wanted:
Matt Ryan
Ahmad Bradshaw
Chris Johnson

for..

Mark Sanchez
Wes Welker
Beanie Wells
Mark Ingram

Why not take it? Because I feel like by this point I've made it pretty clear I don't like Sanchez, am unsure about Wells, and don't want to give up my most consistent RB (Bradshaw) and CJ2K.

Week Five he wanted:
Roddy White
Chris Johnson
Ahmad Bradshaw

for...

Larry Fitzgerald
Steven Jackson
Owen Daniels
Beanie Wells

Why not? I didn't want to give up Bradshaw, and was still holding on to hope for CJ. Seemed like a, "this won't upgrade me" trade.

Week Six he wanted:
Steve Smith
Chris Johnson

for...

DeMarco Murray
Ryan Mathews

Why not? Pfft.. why yes? Smith was my leading WR, Murray I suspected was a one hit wonder and Mathews was hurt.

Week Seven he wanted:
Cedric Benson
Ahmad Bradshaw

for...

Mike Williams (TB)
Beanie Wells

Why not? Pretty sure I've made it clear I don't want Wells and Williams had like 12 points total in 6 weeks. Bradshaw on the other hand was my fantasy stud, Benson close behind him.

In Week Nine he wanted:
Dwayne Bowe
Roddy White
CJ2K
Cedric Benson

for...

Wes Welker
Mike Williams (TB)
Beanie Wells
Plaxico Burress
Andy Dalton

Why not? I didn't need Dalton, didn't want Williams or Wells.

There was one or two more trades involving Pierre Thomas who I had already dropped earlier in the season... I stopped recording. He eventually stopped trying.

Katie mostly runs the team. Technically, it's her team. I'm just a consult. We were thinking most of these trades must have stemmed from the notion she is a girl and could be fooled.

We/She ended up 5-8 and out of playoffs.
"Trade Guy" ended up 5-8 and out of playoffs.
Naturally he sent all his best to his buddy for all his worst. His buddy is in playoffs as the 6 seed. He's currently beating the 3 seed.

Top 10 Will Smith movies

2011-12-10T10:57:00.000-08:00

My Top10 Jim Carrey movies list sparked another: Top 10 Will Smith movies. Here they are:

Haven't seen: Pursuit of Happyness, 7 Pounds

#10: Ali

The autobiographical flick about boxing legend, the greatest of all-time, Muhammad Ali. The thing I loved most about this film is Will Smith's ability to become Ali. I forgot quickly I was watching an actor playing a role, thinking I was seeing the real thing. Same exact sentiment goes for Jon Voight as Howard Cossell. The story alone, an amazing boxer standing firmly for his principles in a trying time, is incredible. Smith's acting and portrayal are phenomenal. And then there's the boxing and the history of the sport. Ali is like the Forrest Gump of boxing.
Best Part: The historical footage/recordings

#9: Enemy of the State
Will Smith, an innocent bystander, is slipped video of a senator's killing. Now the government is after him, finding him when hidden, shutting down access to family, friends, and bank accounts. Smith is forced to think and act fast in an intense movie of nonstop chase and action. The ending is a pure, "holy crap what luck - and now you can breath..." moment.
Best Part: The dramatic ending

#8: Hancock
It's funny because our notion of superheroes generally tells us they're fantastic people who strive to save the world. Hancock however, is lazy and doesn't give a crap. Until of course one man takes him on as a PR project that is. As Hancock transforms, his past is uncovered, leading to intense action and eyebrow raising, SAY WHAT??? moments.
Best Part: Any time Hancock Fs up.

#7: Men in Black II
I like the addition of Rosario Dawson and the reunion of the J and K team. A big nasty alien taking form as a lingerie model sets you up immediately for fun until you realize she's pretty nasty. Same amount of action in the sequel, but the story and comedy lines aren't quite as good as the first.
Best Part: The post office scene/K's driving

#6: Bad Boys
Whomever cast these two together is a god! You cannot find funnier than Smith and Martin Lawrence. Smith posing as Lawrence and vice versa (I'm Mike Lahree...Lawry. I'm Mike Lowry) is too funny. Pretty funny dialogue throughout and a pretty badass ending complete with action-filled shootouts and classic, muscle cars.
Best Part: The conversation (Down the boulevard, Smith driving)

#5: Men in Black
Most originals are better than the sequel and so too in this case. The first one just has more funny than the 2nd. The bad guy (Egar, skin rolls, etc..), the introduction of Agent J into the alien world, the premise of the world being destroyed (the second time wasn't as funny or intense)... Throw in Tony Shaloub, a talking dog, and the noisy cricket... all things not nearly as funny the second time around.
Best Part: The first time the dog talks? The first noisy cricket firing?

#4: Bad Boys II
Above I said the sequels are rarely as good. In this case, BB2 was WAY better. More funny, more action, more scene, more sexy. Everything about this movie was better. Everything. The arguments between Smith and Lawrence are better. The angry captain who "woo-sahs" to feel better. The car chases. Everything. Super funny, action-packed movie, all the way to the end.
Best Part: So hard to choose -- The date.

#3: Independence Day
Not quite as funny as BB2 and it's a different kind of action. But I dug the, band together and kick some alien ass, kind of action over the shoot up some drug dealing bad guys action. It was different, but still intense. You could almost connect more with this action than the previous (what, aliens?) because who knows, any day aliens could attack. But the liklihood of having to deal with drug-dealing Jamaicans seems slim. It really is the rise together affect here. And even though it's not as funny, it's still funny.
Best Part: Punching the alien in the face. Dragging it through the gate.

#2: Hitch
A chick-flick over all these comedic, action films? Fact. Because you can't go wrong with Kevin James as a sidekick and Eva Mendes in the movie period. Every scrub wants to get with royalty. Every dude wants to help other dudes lock down a 10. Every dude likes Eva Mendes. The film has the recipe for success.
Best Part: Albert Brennamen. Or how Smith gets jacked up on dates (ie: shellfish, the jet-ski kick, shirt in door)

#1: The Legend of Bagger Vance
This movie is probably less likely than Independence Day. It's less funny than the last 7 as well. But it hits an emotional spot in me. First of all, I have a deep secret love for golf. Second, I feel golf movies, if done right, are phenomenal movies. Add in Smith, who I really like, and Matt Damon, who I flat out love. Yeah, I said it. Set it in the past in Savannah, Georgia and give everyone accents, and you've got even more of my attention. Actually, you've got all of it. Everyone loves a local loser to winner story too. Charlize Theron isn't half bad to look at either.
Best Part: Damon hitting balls into the dark when Vance (Smith) appears out of the darkness.

Top10: Jim Carrey movies

2011-12-03T17:12:00.000-08:00

The other day at my in-laws, Liar Liar was on the tube for the 32nd time, but hey, I can't blame 'em... the movie is a gem. Got me thinkin', Jim Carrey movies... now that would be a helluva top ten list. Here's mine. Below mine is the poll results.

Overrated: Dumb and Dumber, My Myself and Irene, Fun with Dick and Jane

#10: The Cable Guy
Because he's so obnoxious it's funny. The medieval scene? Come on! The lisp? Tho funny. The demon dream...

#9: Once Bitten
Just don't even ask. He's a good nerd. She's sort of hot. The ending is hilarious.

#8: Bruce Almighty

Because we've all wanted to try it but would all likely end up Jim Carrey-ing it.

#7: The Mask
This one came out around the time most of us we're transitioning from kids to young adults. It was the perfect mix of cartoony and seriousness. TONS of classic lines from this that never get old.

#6: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Because I grew up on Dr. Seuss and he plays the Grinch PERFECTLY.

#5: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
One of Carrey's few attempts to not be a complete idiot and surprise, it works, and well.

#4: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

See, The Mask. Add more memorable lines. Remove cartoony. Add more adult drama/comedy/action. Sprinkle additional memorable lines in.

#3: The Truman Show

The concept alone of this movie makes it a winner. The fact Carrey plays such a believably serious role spices it up.

#2: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

I honestly think the lines alone in this one are funnier than the first. I like the story from the first but there's just so many funny lines...

#1: Liar Liar

Speaking of funny lines... LL could take the cake as best Carrey movie on lines alone! Throw in a decent story, a lawyer who can't lie, with the obvious emotional twist, losing his son to a dork stepdad... and you have magic. It's because you have big jugs. The pen is red.

As voted by you bums:
10. 7 Way Tie (1 vote each)
9. Ace Ventura When Nature Calls (2)
9. Yes Man (2)
9. Earth Girls Are Easy (2)
9. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2)
5. The Mask (3)
5. Me, Myself, and Irene (3)
3. Dumb and Dumber (4)
2. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (7)
1. Liar Liar (8)

Videos of our dogs bein' fools!

2011-11-29T22:27:00.000-08:00

Dog wrestling match

Jasmine misunderstood

Lily's hearing things

Jasmine's Doppleganger

2011-11-26T14:22:00.000-08:00

You see her as a cuddly, sweet, cute, wounded puppy dog...

But we know the truth...

My Xmas Wish List

2011-11-25T15:47:00.000-08:00

"This is the time of year when everyone wishes for world peace and an end to hunger. Me, I just want a new playstation 2 controller."

And in case you're wondering, have me for Secret Santa, or just love me enough to want to buy me something... here's what else I want:

- One of those flip camcorder mini thingymajigs
- A nice digital camera
- Anything Denver Broncos
- Most things Oakland A's
- I like the Oregon Ducks a lot.
- UC Davis Aggie gear is nice.
- iTunes cards are always good and easy.
- Barnes and Nobles cards would come in handy.
- A version of the board game LIFE. Seriously. Trying to clutch some youth.
- Can always make space for undershirts, nice dress shirts, and ties.
- Seriously, a new PS2 controller. I'm still rockin' Madden '05 and my R2 button sticks.
- The Mad Men seasons on DVD.

Thank you in advance AND you're welcome.

Thankful Givings and a RTFTH idea

2011-11-24T10:30:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful I have the health and ability to walk in the Run to Feed the Hungry. As such, I have an idea but have no idea how to get this started:

What if the tens-of-thousands of participants turned around and donated their shirts to those in need. Even if only hundreds donated, that's one hundred plus long sleeve t-shirts donated in winter to help keep the homeless warm. Food AND Clothing. Just sayin'.

Here's just a few things I'm especially thankful for this year (beyond Katie, family, friends, and life)

-An income that allows us to travel and buy new cars in a down economy. Likewise, I'm thankful I'm not one of the people you're running for today (no disrespect to them).

-The ability to still play softball AND sneak in some games after a major injury.

-My dog is alive still, at this point.

-The discovery of the benefit of prayer: I've been skeptical my entire life. This year I've prayed multiple times and not one time has a prayer not been met with something in return: clarity, strength/courage, positive outcomes, etc. It's been unexplainable and quite amazing. And here's my tip from someone not crazy religious - prayer doesn't have to be a kneeling peaceful secluded heartfelt, world-changing event. Mine are more like conversations when I find I have time and something is weighing heavy on my heart/mind. Don't pray for results, pray for guidance.

What to do with Abu

2011-11-23T12:41:00.000-08:00

I've had Abu for about 13 years now. He was an awesome pet, only because he was more like a dog than a cat.

Since marrying Katie, he's not allowed on the bed anymore, which is not a big deal to me. But it's created a vicious circle of hatred between the two. Katie doesn't like cats so she doesn't let him on the bed or couch or pet him, so he pukes and pees on her things, which makes her hate him more which makes him hate her more...
So he's 13ish now. He appears decently healthy. But he's puking like every other day. We can't keep cleaning this up, we can't obviously let it sit.

We tried making him an outdoor cat. He meows outside our window all night. He's speedy enough to get back in and run away from us. And he pukes up grass as soon as he's back in.

We keep his food and water full so he has no reason to punish us. He puts food in his water, then only wants to drink out of the dog bowl and meows even though there's food still.

We quarantine him to two rooms, he pukes in both. He pooped on the bathroom rug one day after I changed his kitty litter. Katie hates him. I'm annoyed with him to the point I never pet him anymore. So he's just here...

We can't take this anymore but we can't give him away. We can't wait it out for him to die, that could be 8 years.

I don't know what to do anymore... what would you do?

Praying my dog doesn't die...

2011-11-22T21:24:00.000-08:00

The Dog Saga: How my dog's stupid mistake nearly (and still may) led to her death.

This week has really tested my faith, patience, love for my dog, and desire to be a pet owner.

Wednesday
We come home from a week long vacation in Mexico. My sister-in-law/house&dog-sitter informs us Jasmine, our not even two year old ginger lab, has thrown up four times and skipped dinner Tuesday night and breakfast this morning. Throwing up is typical, she eats a lot of stupid things including: whole tomatoes, birds, beer cans, change, socks, books, towels, and clay pots. But the eating is very uncharacteristic. Jasmine LOVES her some food.

So we take her to Banfield inside of Petsmart. They take X-rays and give her a rectal.

"There's enlarged areas of the intestines but we can't tell from what."

And they send us home with wet food with a return date of Saturday. $75.

Saturday
Jasmine has eaten all of the wet food and enjoyed it. Unfortunately, she's dropped four pounds in one week and she shakes when she breathes. Clearly, she's uncomfortable.

Back at Banfield, they give her another rectal and declare her as seemingly healthy. They refer us to a place that does ultrasounds, suggesting this as the next step. $75 more. We take her to Mueller Pet Hospital instead.

They go over the X-rays and want to keep her overnight, install an IV to pump her with fluids to see if they can flush this out. Reluctantly, I agree to leave my now scared, shaking, not-eating, skinny as a rail baby with strangers all alone overnight. $550.

Sunday
I call the vet to check on Jazz.

"She's going to require another night and the ultrasound is a go. Fluids didn't work. And she has a yeast infection in her ear too." $1160.

Monday
"The ultrasound revealed a large towel bunched up in her intestines. We have to perform surgery to remove immediately." $2800.

"Surgery was successful. We removed the towel. Unfortunately, we had to also remove one foot of her intestine because it was [that f-ed up]. It's common, we've done it hundreds of times and it rarely leaks. And we pressure tested Jasmine's, and it didn't leak. But watch her carefully the next week because if it leaks, she dies. But if she makes it through next Monday, she'll live."

"Oh. AND, she wasn't born with a right kidney."

...all because she ate a towel.

Super.

United We [Never Fly Again]

2011-11-21T20:09:00.000-08:00

One thing our recent vacation taught me: I HATE United Airlines.

We purchased our tickets there and back. It looked like this:

12:25AM - From SFO to Houston
6am - Houston to Cancun

5:55am - Cancun to Phoenix
12pm - Phoenix to SFO

Sounds simple, right?

A few days before we leave, United calls us to inform us they've changed our flight back to go through Washington instead of Phoenix.

"Washington state?" asks Katie. The lady mumbled and we took it as a yes.

Our tickets arrive and no, it's actually Washington D.C. Now instead of a straight shot, we get to go all the way to the East Coast, make a big triangle, and get home to SFO at 1:30 in the morning (which means home home at 3am).

We call back and see if there's any other flights possible, even through Sacramento. The answer is no.

Our day arrives, we fly to Houston. We visit the United desk and ask again. The answer is no.

We enjoy our vacation through Sunday and as we're booking excursions we tell our Best Day Travel representative. She puts us on the phone with someone and within five minutes we have a new flight back through Houston once again. YES!

And now the real fun begins...

In Mexico you have to be at the airport THREE hours early. Our flight is at 6am, so we have to be there at 3am, and we are. But the airport is closed until 4:30. Awesome.

We wait through the hour, through the line, and get to the front to check in.

"You're in the system but they didn't give you tickets. Without a ticket, you can't get on the plane."

4:45am, 45 minutes til loading. We ask for the supervisor who can clear us. He's not in until 5:30. So he tells us to step out of line and phone United.

4:50am. 40 minutes left.

(Automated voice system) "Welcome to United Airlines. Our hours are now 7am to..." WTF!?

We skip the line and ask the guy at the Continental counter (a whole nother story) what we can do.

"You can pay a transfer fee of $75 each." This just keeps getting better.

So we paid $150 for the seats THAT ALREADY HAD OUR NAMES ON THEM in the system so that we could get a paper ticket to get on the plane THAT ALREADY HAD US IN THE COMPUTER. Sweet.

5:05am, 25 minutes left. Katie gets tagged to be searched.

5:15am, 15 minutes left. We get to our gate.

As we're boarding our plane, guess what? Katie gets tagged to be searched again before boarding. Afterwards, we hand our tickets to...

...the same guy who helped us at the original counter. The same guy who would have known we were already in the system and COULD HAVE just let us through...

We made it home. But not without some additional stress and tears.

Oh, and my sinuses felt like this during the landing...

One thing is for sure, we're never flying United Airlines again.

Post-vacation "of course it did"s

2011-11-20T21:10:00.000-08:00

A common phenomenon occurs in high school and college students in which days after final exams they become sick. This is because their mind and body get so amped up: adrenaline rushing, sleep being avoided, last minute information filling the head, stressing out through the roof, and when it's over and the body relaxes, it basically shuts itself down making the host susceptible to sickness.

So you cram and finish off all your finals and get to finally relax, and you get sick. Of course you do.

A similar occurrence happens around vacation time. If you don't get sick right before you leave, you get sick the day you get back. Perhaps it's because we get all amped up and skip sleep to have fun, while stressing over safety and flight plans.

And of course, it happened to me.

Unfortunately I got sick the day we landed. And stayed sick through the entire vacation. And the day off I had when we arrived back home. And the next two days through work the rest of the week. I didn't think my boss would believe me, so I went in to work. Guess what happened? All three of my coworkers called in sick, leaving me actually sick and by myself with all the kids. And on Friday night, when we close at 6pm... I didn't leave until the last family did... at 6:35pm. Of course. Then I spent the weekend sick. I'm sure I'll feel great come Monday when I've been robbed of a weekend.

Naturally though, as if sickness on a vacation isn't enough, more "of course it did"s happen to make you realize, "wee'rrrre baaaaaaaaack".

My dog throws up our first day back. She doesn't eat all day. We take her to the vet for $100 worth of stuff to find nothing. A few days later, we have to take her back to the emergency vet clinic for another $550 (so far). She's stayed there overnight two nights, requires an ultrasound, and will cost about $2800 when all is said and done. Of course.

And now... my wife is sick. Of course she is.

Saturday night, we're both not feeling well and our dog is all alone at some clinic, sick too. It's the perfect night to stay in, and relax on the couch...

THE CABLE IS OUT.

Of course it is.

But cleaning up the cat's puke and poop out of the thick carpet should keep us entertained since he did both twenty feet from each other within 30 seconds. Of course he did.

And Katie didn't get to play soccer because it got rained out.

Of course it did.

Welcome home!

Tash gets married in Mexico

2011-11-17T18:47:00.000-08:00

After passing the machine-gun armed police standing on the side of the freeway, my fear of being pulled over and having stuff planted on me subsided.

Welcome to Mexico.

The driver made a left turn into a driveway I hardly even saw. The path was long and bumpy, speed bumps placed every 20 feet or so. The bushes on each side were thick and green, visibility not more than five feet in either direction. I pretended we were driving through Jurassic Park.

Finally, we arrived. The El Dorado Royale. Our all-inclusive resort home for the next four nights. Home to Brian and Natasha's wedding in just 24 hours. I began to wonder what would be in store for us. Would we have a good time? Is Mexico really scary? Is the water that bad? How will it compare to our honeymoon in Turks and Caicos?

"Hola senores. Champagne?"

Oh yes. We're going to be just fine.

I'm not sure why, but we received a room upgrade. The place was absolutely fantastic. The shower, big enough for four people. The in-room hot tub. The view from the balcony, breath-taking. And more importantly, a mini fridge stocked with beer, water, and Coca-Cola.

We spent most of the afternoon trying to find the others. Walking around we found pool after pool, bar after bar. All lovely, but no friends present. Finally, giving up, we headed back to the room. Once there we tried calling each of their rooms. No answer. Now what?

Eventually we caught up with Sarah and wandered around aimlessly. At each stop we re-loaded on drinks, took in the atmosphere, then moved on to the next. The resort map showed 13 restaurants. We could only find about four on that first night, of which three wouldn't let me in because I either didn't have pants on or good enough shoes. So we settled, much to my shigrin, on the Korean place, where even there, I didn't meet the dress code.

It was about that time the crappy flight and lack of sleep sank its teeth deep into me. Rather than giving me a buzzed feeling, the alcohol tempted me to vomit. Worse, the food was doing the same. My eyes wanted desperately to shut. Though every time I would give in, the blackness on the other side would spin violently.

Back in the room we were finalizing plans for the night. The others had returned from a day excursion and were heading out to catch a show on the grounds. While waiting, I laid down. Unfortunately, I knew at that moment, my night was over.

After sleeping 13 hours, I felt refreshed and ready to properly tackle this vacation. We met up with Sarah (after passing a couple enjoying each other's company in a non-discrete way) for breakfast, then hit the beach. Typically, I don't handle laying out very well. I get bored somewhere around the ten minute mark. Katie owes my being sick still to her most enjoyable beach dwelling experience because I found laying in silence with my eyes closed and the warm sun soothing my pale skin to be calming. On that day, I made it two hours before it was hunger rather than boredom which set in. We ate lunch and grabbed some drinks, relaxing at one of the larger pools on the property until it was game time.

It was 2:45 p.m. on Saturday afternoon. We were showered and dressed. The only thing I had left to do was somehow get over my disappointment over forgetting to pack dress shoes. Subconsciously I knew the first thing I would do is look at all of the other men's shoes.

The atmosphere was like nothing I had ever seen before. A little white chapel with two large doors openening toward the sea, no more than fifteen feet from the soft, white sand. A perfect, cool breeze blew and the sun decided to hang around alone to brighten everyone's spirit amid the plethora of clouds. We all gathered, Brian awaited, and Natasha arrived.

The ceremony itself was your typical wedding: he does, she does, they combined sand and happily kissed (all in a chapel in Mexico next to the beach of course). It was the proceedings afterward that really set this wedding apart from the rest. We headed out to the beach, directed by the photographer, and watched as an endless ocean and peaceful waves backed Tash and Brian's first pictures as man and wife. It was truly an ecaptulating definition of perfection. And my shame of wearing those white Puma shoes? I won the first annual VS award for Coolest Shoes.

Naturally as guests, our first stop was the bar. Drinks all around! The tequila was pouring, the beer foaming, the blenders whirring. Had it not been all-inclusive, that initial bill alone would have easily cost in the hundreds. The drinking didn't stop there. In fact, I can't remember when the drinking did stop. Probably because I can't remember how many drinks there actually were. Most of how the rest of the night unfolded are beyond me, memories replaced by fuzziness. I do know I made a new friend. His name is Henry.

Sunday Katie and I talked about going on an excursion. Sunday morning my body said the idea was a no go. In fact, even the sun was too hungover to come out and it rained. Katie called the front desk to see if they had any idea how long the rain would last.

"We looked it up and it was supposed to be partly cloudly so when it started to rain we thought it was strange."

Um. That wasn't really an answer.

Luckily, we found an on-site spa and decided to give its jacuzzi a whirl. On the way there, weaving through the pathways nearly crashing several times into other carts, I had the pleasure of talking to an 87 year old Canadian man. A very proud man, he beamed about being with his wife, who was "only" 77, and all of his children. They too, were headed for the spa.

I opened the door for Sarah and Katie and flinched at the sight of 25 spa staff lining the walls. Holy God, we just want to get in the jacuzzi for 20 minutes, I thought to myself. One of the 25 employees took us through the facility. We were to use stations in a particular order for a designated amount of time. The hot tub first, for only 5-10 minutes. The cold water bath for 30 seconds to close our pores, then the specialty pool for back, neck, and leg massage work.

The jacuzzi wasn't nearly hot enough. The cold bath was FREEZING. The specialty pool was interesting. A station which rolled bars on your back under water. A station which shot jet streams upward from your feet. Two stations shooting water hard to work your back and neck. I left the place more sore than I had entered. The rest of the day, we took advantage of the tiny amount of sun that reared. Drinks, I learned, were not an option whatsoever, according to my body.

Finally scheduling an excursion we chose to visit the famous site, Chichen Itza. I was more than excited to see one of the seven wonders of the world, the famed Mayan sacrifice pyramid. I was less enthused about the two and a half hour (one way) drive it took to get there, or the drive through town(s) to get there and back.

Armed with a tour guide, Katie, three other couples, and I set off on foot up the hill toward Chichen Itza. Bombarded by people everywhere, tourists and natives, we tried our hardest not to get overwhelmed by the marketplace we had no idea about. The paths were lined with individuals and families trying to desperately to sell their items for "prices lower than Walmart" or "practically free today".

We learned quickly to ignore everyone but the guide, as saying, "Lo Siento", "Tengo no dinero", and "Gracias pero no" only seemed to encourage them to try harder. I even tried, "No hablo Engles" to no avail.

Chichen Itza. Not a place of sacrifices. A place of geometry and star-gazing. At least according to our guide, a part Mayan man who yearned to set us straight with his knowledge of his people, battling the "inaccuracies written by the winners." Either way, the structures were amazing. Nine tiers, one for each month of pregnancy, built thousands of years ago. Each side perfectly alined with the North, South, East, and West. Original paintings and carvings still in tact. The architecture and thought were nearly enough to drive us mad with amazement and wonder.

We saw many wonderful things that day, in addition to the most recognizable pyramid on the property. Tombs, sink holes, authentic Mayan homes. History. And iguanas. I can't forget about the iguanas. Or the entertaining scantily clad Russian girl who was posing next to historical monuments as if she was making love to them, dramatic, piercing eyes, arm posed over her head. Katie denied my request at any such pictures in this form.

Driving down the road our tour guide boasted of the best Mexican and Mayan food we've ever tasted. This was to be our next destination. Of course, driving through a downtown Mexico I've only seen in the movies, I grew a bit nervous. All of the stray dogs walking down the street made me realize, it wasn't just a Hollywood stereotype. I felt quite foolish when we pulled into the nicest looking place in a ten mile radius. I won't even attempt to describe the food to you. It's impossible. Just know, American tacos, beans, and rice are not even close to the Mexican version. Not even close. Coca-colas however will cost you $50. In pesos, thank God.

With a full belly, we jumped into the water. Down beneath the ground, literally in a cave, the group took a little dip. The cave lit by purple lights and a bit of natural shining through the random hole in the ceiling. Several bats flew around the top, shrieking at us. The fish in the water were very much unafraid. The hole, the bats, the fish. We didn't last too long in this cave pool.

The kids were the worst part. Rude. Loud. Not taking no for an answer. One tried to tell me the changing room I had just changed in ten minutes prior cost one peso. We were nine hours into this adventure and still had one stop to go. Katie and I were so done.

One last stop. Just as we felt would happen to us, the sun went missing. The tour guide, unafraid and with a lack of worry, tells us we have 30 minutes to explore our last stop, a bustling downtown city. I'd like to tell you Katie and I were too tired, but that would be a lie. We were too timid. We snapped off a few quick pictures from the side of the travel van. Unfortunately, I needed to pee.

"It's down on the corner, inside the coffee shop." Awesome.

The corner was at least 100 steps away. The shop had a security guard, sitting on a bar stool.

"Donde esta el bano?" Our one perfect Spanish phrase.

He motions to the back. It felt like we were walking through an alley way. Down the hall, dimly lit. The low arch forced us to duck under and we found ourselves in a tiny space with two toilets. It was a race to see who could finish faster. But as you can see, we made it. Eventually, in another three hours, we made it back to the resort. Discovering room service for the first time, so late into the trip, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to tell you the two of us ordered three plates of food and three desserts. We smashed all of it. In about fifteen minutes.

In order to have a good time it was mandatory to come back home with all of my organs, money, and my wife. I came back with two of the three, so I will say it was a pretty good time.

More importantly, we saw our friend Tash wed. So to end this story properly:

Tasha and Brian lived happily ever (five days and counting...) after.

God vs. Free Will

2011-11-10T20:45:00.000-08:00

Alright all my church-lovin', God-fearin', Bible-reading friends, this one's for you. Do chime in.

I'm having religious and spiritual trouble with God. (Notice I didn't say the notion of God or type "God"?)

Here's the thing: I believe in God. I have a million questions about religion, and I don't honestly see the necessity of church, but I do believe. With that, I pray. But I got to thinking... and my thinking started confusing me...

If I pray for God to provide courage, strength, and confidence for a certain event that's about to happen, it seems simple enough. But then I thought, "if this is God's will, it shall be done. For He has a plan." Right?

So that got me thinking that actually no, the entire event unfolding hinges on my personality and the things I say, and then another person making a decision. God can't make the decision for anyone. That goes against free will. And there is my difficulty:

How can God have a plan for all of us AND we all have free will?

Every decision hinges on free will. Was it God's plan for Katie and I to meet, fall in love, marry, and start a family? I say yes.

But then I think, it was my free will that chose to go into the office that day. My free will to ask her out. Her free will to say yes, and so on and so forth.

I honestly can't think of a legitimate reason for going into the office that day however. None. Literally nothing. I NEVER went to the office if I didn't have to. Which leads me to believe maybe free will isn't completely free.

Is it that God suggests ideas to us and then we choose to act upon them? Is God incepting us?

Where is the line between where God stops and I begin?

I don't get it. I've prayed on it (which by the way, how come more people don't talk about prayer more openly? We talk about it like it's embarrassing. Weird.) I felt my answer was to speak with my peers. My free will acted on the suggestion.

Now I pray this does not piss God off, for as you read this, I am on a plane to Mexico. Please no plane crash, kidnapping, or organ removal!

Paroxyism #7 (and 8)

2011-11-09T20:36:00.000-08:00

The one with the unnecessary attendance/the out of town guest

Paroxyism: Loud, irrelevant outbursts; a sudden, unexpected increase in intensity.

#7
When you declare you have such little interest in attending an event (on the way to the event!) with others that you've brought a lawn chair to sit outside and a book in preparation AFTER paying full (and steep) price for said event...

YOU'VE JUST HAD A PAROXYISM.

Because seriously, if you don't want to go, why go? Save the rest of us from your dislike of our event.

#8
When you accept out of state guests then treat them like prison inmates while also displaying your displeasure in hosting said guests...

Say it with me...

You've just had a paroxyism.

There's these nifty little things called hotels now-a-days... assuming none of the five family members offering won't accept your guest.

Tim Tebow: Through My Eyes (Book Review)

2011-11-07T20:55:00.000-08:00

Title: Through My Eyes
Author: Tim Tebow w/ Nathan Whitaker
Pages: 260
Genre: Sports
Published: 2011

Quick Summary: NFL Quarterback Tim Tebow writes about his life up to the point through his first year as a Denver Bronco. Included is his birth in the Philippines, growing up in Florida, high school, college, draft day, his foundations, efforts, achievements, overcoming naysayers, and his religious fire.

Background: I'm not much of a college football guy. Yeah, I had heard of Tim Tebow before he came to the NFL. The guy lit it up and everyone hated him for it. They said he was a system guy. I personally don't care. System or individual, the records and stats he holds are his, not the system's. I held nothing against Tim Tebow like most did/do. But now he's on the team I root for, so I root for him. I don't want anyone on the Broncos to fail, especially not the quarterback. So I thought I would read the book, try to gain a little insight or perspective of my own (that's why he wrote it in the first place he says in the intro). And naturally, as I do, I took notes the whole way.

Overall: I like the guy. Again, he's a Bronco, so I want him to do well. He did well in college and I see no reason to hate on that. A couple of things stood out to me though. A good portion of the book is re-living every single play from his college career. In my opinion, to be an outstanding Christian is to be humble. Remember a few of your best plays. It's fine to be excited. But this was different. This was paragraph after paragraph about how he was bigger, stronger, and faster than everyone else. He beat most people in foot races. He trucked linebackers and safeties. He out lifted linemen. Coaches only did certain drills with him to see if they could break him and they never did. It got tiring after a few chapters. I wanted to throw my hands up and say, "I get it dude, you're the greatest of all-time and no one can stop you." It didn't seem very Christian, humble-like.

On the other hand I feel for the guy. He is passionate. You can't take away a man's passion. By the end of the book, even through what I think is cockiness and a bit of overexaggeration, I find myself rooting for Tim Tebow. It's not his fault the media hypes him up. And in the end, he does work that much harder than a lot of guys normally would.

The Odd Notes and Quotes:

Page 5, referencing his birth and losing weight - "My parents asked our friends and family in America to pray that I would grow big and strong. I guess their prayers were answered." - This one line so early sums up how the entire book from here proceeds.

Page 11 - "My Dad says I wasn't much fun to throw with, even at age four. Apparently, even then I was a bit too intense and threw pretty hard." - Sure. I'm going to tell my children that too even if it's not true.

Page 33 Tebow claims he did 400 push ups and 400 sit ups every single day before hitting puberty (guessing around 10).

Page 39 he says as a 9th grader he beat grown men in an arm curling contest. The runner up had 55 reps of a 55 pound weight. Tebow did 315. In 9th grade.

Page 128 - "Sooner or later we all become Gator fans, right?" - Very wrong.

The entire chapter of how he won the Heisman Trophy was boring. I thought we'd get more intrigue and excitement. Went to the ceremony. Prayed. The next day after I won...

Page 183 - "There might have been three or four times in my four years that I was stopped on a short-yardage play." - Again, I'd like to see the stats.

Somewhere towards the end he claims he's saving himself for marriage. The guy is Tim Tebow. I hardly believe that. If that is true. He's probably been to 2nd and 3rd base more times than every man that lives on my street and the next one over combined.

And now for the good notes:

Page 12 - "Losing simply isn't fun. If there's a score, there's a purpose to the game beyond having fun." - Finally someone agrees with me. I hate losing. Fun isn't the point of competition. Winning is. Winning is fun.

Page 15 - "As I heard kids talking about fitting in and wanting to be normal, I never quite understood why they felt that way. What's the point of being normal? That sounds so average to me, and I never felt like I was created to be average." - Amen to that. Why be average? I have since adopted the idea that I am not here to be average.

Tebow also gives his opinion on paying players AND the BCS system which are interesting. I won't quote it so you can go find out for yourself.

In his senior year in college he raised $500K for charity. He also created the Tim Tebow Foundation his first year in the NFL. He also stayed to complete college, finished with a 3.66 in Family, Youth, and Community Services (NOT Communications), and chose Florida in the first place because his mother, father, brother, and sister went there. Not your standard athlete. I dig that.

Final Thought(s): I liked the book and I recommend it. I think it's best for the average sports fan. The strong passioned haters, don't bother. For the rest, I think it would change your mind on him. Confirm a little bit sure, such as that he seems cockier than he does humble, but at the end of the day he always supports the things he says and does with his belief in God. I don't think I've seen anyone so steadfast.

What it did for me: Through My Eyes has made me consider reading the Bible next. Literally. I'm not super religious. I believe in God and I pray, but that's about it. I don't know much about the Bible. So I'm a little bit intrigued. And if you asked Tim Tebow about my entire post here, he'd see right through all the criticism and say, "Hey, I influenced this guy to read the Bible, God's word. That's what I was put on this Earth for." Through My Eyes confirmed that my thinking of, "I don't want to be average" is okay. It also made me adopt the "Finish Strong" mantra and consider "Somewhere he is out there, training while I am not. One day, when we meet, he will win." I want to be the person someone says that about. Not the person that says that to himself.

How my nieces changed my mind

2011-11-06T21:32:00.000-08:00

I'm not a very good family member. Months go by before I see my siblings and their children. But we finally found a date and had dinner with my sister and her three daughters, the youngest of which I hadn't met yet is eight months old already.

That night was so much fun (not to mention a tasty dinner was involved). Chloe is five and in kindergarten. She's ridiculously smart. Colby is three and in preschool. She can count to nine by herself and we counted to 22 together with her barely needing my help. Both of them are so stinkin' cute it's unhealthy. (Unfortunately I don't have pictures for you because this is a public site, they're kids, and they're not mine.)

And then there's Kylie.

There for about two and a half hours and she didn't cry one time. Instead she laughs and smiles at everything. She even growls when you talk to her. I know she's trying to talk back and she's a baby... but a growl is just as cute. It sounds silly but I had such a good time just growling back and forth with my little niece. The funniest part of the night came when I said something silly to Kylie who undoubtedly wouldn't understand my humor and she straight up gave me "The Rock Eyebrow" as if to say, "I'm on to you Uncle Nick."

The girls and I spent most of the night talking about school, comparing muscles (they're stronger than me), and playing games. It was awesome.

Saturday morning Katie and I went to see Chloe play soccer. Her team is better than I remember being at under-6. There was bunch ball, but not too much. It was actually pretty organized. Watching both my niece play and the dads that were there get so excited made me think, I have so much fun with them that...

I can't wait to do this with my own kids.

No Shave November

2011-11-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

The trending topic of the day over on the Twitter is "No Shave November" so I asked some peeps,

"What's this No Shave November business, anyone?"

"Oh I know," someone proudly exclaimed. "It's for prostate cancer awareness month."

Prostate cancer? How does me shaving my face, or not actually, have anything to do with my prostate? They're at two opposite ends!

"Well why does everyone wear pink for breast cancer awareness?" she asked.
It was hard to answer so straight faced, especially to a woman.

"Duh. Pink is a girly color and girls have...well, ya know..."
(Here is a visual: PINK -> GIRLS -> BOOBIES)

I guess by the logic of wearing pink to recognize that women we love get breast cancer and this is our show of support, we shouldn't shave to recognize men who may get prostate cancer. But unlike men who wore pink in support, I don't condone women not shaving. A hug for support will suffice.

My approach seems more appropriate and logical: I'm not shaving my butt until December.

No matter which approach you take, good luck out there.

The owner of this blog does not condone or suggest self-checkups

W(here)TF were the Trick-or-Treaters?!

2011-11-02T20:20:00.000-07:00

We got six groups of Trick-or-Treaters this year. Six. Last year we got about ten. The year before, probably eight. Terrible.

Where are all the trick-or-treaters???

Damn it. Now I have to eat all this leftover candy...

Courtesy of Funnyjunk.com

Here are my theories on why the door to door version is dying:

1) Parents today are just lazy. Parents today are my generation now. I don't want to walk around for hours and talk to strangers. (But I'm gonna do it...)

2) ~~Parents~~ People are paranoid. Razorblades, drugs, poison, and child molesters beware!!! ...Please, it's not like I'm letting mine go out alone.

3) There's this overwhelming push for healthiness. Sweets bad. Cookie monster bad. Halloween, very, very bad. Be a parent. Limit your kid. (Every Halloween after I have kids, I'm going to be the IRS and take 20% of their earnings.)

3) There seems to be a new trend of night of/weekend of/day before events popping up. It's actually pretty smart. Go to one spot, spend an hour, get a crap load of candy still, play some games, have a costume contest, see your friends, etc. Most of the time these things are free or require a donation. Less time, less work, as much of a reward. (Yeah there's no denying this option actually sounds pretty good.) Now, re-read number one.

The funniest thing I heard on Halloween was this:

"If I'm giving your kid candy and you're giving my kid candy, why don't we all just stay home and give our own kids candy?"

I figured myself out today!

2011-11-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

All this time I've been trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life when it comes to a career. I've worried that I've pigeon-holed myself with eight years of youth program work and nothing else to offer on my resume.

But today I had an epiphany!

The last eight years I've just been attending life college. Come again? LIFE COLLEGE.

Most people go to high school, then college, then start their career. I went to high school, then I went to a four-year college. But then I went to life college, spending eight years with other peoples' kids to figure out if I want them and the best (and worst) ways to raise them. This stuff isn't meant for my career resume. But it's huge on my fatherhood resume.

And now that I've completed the program, I'm ready to graduate and jump into the workforce...

...or at least, that's how I'm going to spin it to myself to be less disappointed in being 26 and just starting...

The fairytales my kids will read

2011-10-31T21:00:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, we all watched fairytales (yes, even the boys) thanks in large part to Walt Disney. The beauty of a fairytale to me is summed up in this definition by H2G2.com

1.Fairy tales embody the values of the common people, not the upper or ruling classes.

In most, if not all, lower class females marry princes and orphaned, under-priviledged children find homes, families, and money. Fairy tales teach manners, good deeds, respect, and hospitality.

We watched Cinderella stick it to her step-family and marry the prince.

Snow White overcome the wicked Queen, serve others, and find happiness.

Belle overlooked the Beast saving both him and her father.

The Ugly Duckling found inner beauty.

Little Red Riding Hood used her logic.

Even Aladdin proved his worth in the end...

Those are the fairytales I grew up with. Colorful, with pictures and a similar message. Stick with your morals and family, work hard, identify your weaknesses and work on them, and always think things through and you'll be rewarded.

None of my fairy tales ever said: "Have a rich father, use his passing as access to initial fame, make a porno, 'star' in reality television, and sell yourself for millions and you'll get your $10 million dream wedding... oh and then divorce the 'prince' two months later..."

I pray I never have a daughter.

...unless of course I'm not seeing this correctly and the "fairytale" was Kris Humphries playing the Aladdin character.

PRAY I HAVE A BOY!

Without [Katie]

2011-10-23T18:27:00.000-07:00

The first couple of times I heard Usher and David Guetta's "Without You" I changed the channel. Too slow, too hyped. I finally listened to it for the first time and WOW. I immediately thought of my wife and without further ado, this becomes a "gag me" post.

Laying in bed last night I told Katie about how I heard the song, loved the song, thought of her, I'm so lucky, what would I be missing without her...

So she hits me with this:

"Sounds like a blog post."

Well played Mauer. Here's the list.

WITHOUT KATIE I WOULD NOT HAVE....

(OBJECTS)
- The bed. God the bed is amazing. Asleep in seconds flat.

- The couch with the perfect "pilot seat". I don't pick this without her. I don't afford this without her.

- The laptop I'm typing on. I'm anti-laptop without her.

- My Ford Escape. Because I can't afford it or decide on it without her.

- Dogs. Sometimes they're miss, most of the time they're hit. But what would I do with two dogs alone? I wouldnt..

- a ROTH IRA and life insurance.

- This house, period! I probably live in an apartment with a roommate instead. Bleh.

- The three softball bats I LOVE. One purchased from Jon who I don't know without Katie, one given to me by same Jon, and one received for 50% off from having Katie with me. See folks, it's that simple... one person can have even little changes that make your life better.

(MORE MATERIALISTIC BONUSES)
- A bank account three times as big.

- Gone to Disneyland four times in seven years. Once maybe, but that's it.

- Visited Washington D.C. and seen Georgetown or experienced East Coast winters.

- Someone to make Hawaii more enjoyable with hikes up Diamondhead and a day long kayak trip that we kicked ass on, keeping up with the instructor and then cliff diving at the end.

- A Turks and Caicos vacation. I wouldn't have ever even heard of it without Katie in my life, then getting married, honeymoon, etc.

- Dinner every night. I eat a lot of cereal and Mac N' Cheese if I'm by myself. Such a good thing. Such a good thing...

- free access to a gym...

- ...and therefore no realization my love for rock climbing.

- A place to stay in Holland if I ever go.

- Someone to go to as many A's games every year.

(PHYSICAL THINGS - Disclaimer: Being honest, not a pervert. Family may want to skip this part.)
- Such a beautiful wife.

- A wife with such an amazing body.

- Someone to poke and prod (not being dirty here) without being slapped.

- Free and daily access (talking visual here) to the three above. Instead I have to go to a strip club, watch adult films, or meet someone and hope for the best..

- Any one to snuggle with at night, every single night.

- a partner fit and dedicated to being/staying healthy.

- DAILY hugs and kisses.

- To avoid time and added effort to score. And at a much less success rate. And with a higher degree of risk.

- An established connection as such to no longer possess nervousness about all things related to, ya know, that kind of thing...

- Passion. Lust maybe, but passion is better.

(HYPOTHETICALS)
- someone to point out how gross biting my nails is, even if I still do it.

- a degree from UC Davis (CSUS for sure instead)

- Encouragement to pursue my passion for writing.

- an appreciation for the show, Friends (not Sex and the City, Project Runway, or Dancing with the Stars though).

- a partner who is as athletic as me and active in sports.

- even an inkling consideration to go to grad school.

- the opportunity to enjoy being married as I do now.

- that woman to get the butterflies for while purchasing the perfect ring

- a bride AND a woman with MY last name!

- a residency in California potentially, if you ask her. (She thinks I would have moved to Montana with my mom.)

- An annual date for New Year's and Valentine's Day.

- no one to force me to participate in Thanksgiving and Christmas.

- someone who accepts my weird way of holding hands and does so perfectly.

- a date to the 16 concerts I've been to in the last decade.

- someone to share accomplishments and feats with.

- someone to discuss huge decisions with before having to make them.

- the perfect match to make a baby I know will be both disgustingly cute and well-raised (someday people, someday).

(CHANGES I'VE MADE DUE IN LARGE PART TO HER)
- the desire to be smarter and do better in general.

- my anger issues under control

- an appreciation for August 22, which would mean nothing.

- a better grip (and faster) on maturity.

- have ever purchased sunglasses, plaid shorts, and flip flops. Who doesn't own those things?

- gotten a bit more used to taking medicine. Before her I always tried to just "tough it out" in an anti-medicine campaign.

- a checkup for skin cancer (stupid moles!)

- someone to influence me to eat healthier, give up sour cream, cut back on soda, switch to whole wheat, etc.

(NICE THINGS I'VE COME TO LOVE)
- someone I can tell literally ANYTHING too. No matter how personal or gross.

- someone who lets me finish off the food she can't finish (which in most cases she just saves for me... this makes me sound like a heffer.)

- Someone more than myself to play softball for. It's nicer having a fan AND a critic that can help me figure out how to play better.

- Anyone to drive me to work out, go running, or play sports.

- someone okay with my every once in awhile letting loose, being "silly', acting like an immature jackwagon when the world expects an adult of me. Or those moments when I kick me feet on the floor like an actual temper tantrum.

- fingers to trace my back when I want it most but don't say anything.

- King size Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and a Coke on a random day.

- The network I have now (family, friends, etc.)

- Anyone to take care of me when I'm sick (she does an amazing job)

- One person who listens to me bitch for 100 days straight about work misery.

- Someone to call me on my shit.

- A woman who watches as much sports as I do.

- Anyone to put me in a lifeguard hold and allow me to stay conscious for the first time ever after giving blood

- A walking partner

- Anyone to help me buy clothes (because I never do that on my own)

- Anyone to then help me choose what to wear (because I'm indecisive)

- an increased degree of culturing I have between languages, travel, food, movies, and music.

- a partner to complete a 100 movie project with.

- someone to edge while I mow to speed up the yardwork process.

- someone to be bored with on a lazy Sunday. Boredom is easier when there's someone to share the misery with.

- someone to support my blogging habits.

- someone to come home to EVERY day.

- A girl that my ENTIRE family LOVES.

- An amazing amount of dedicated and personalized love, obviously.

I'm sure I missed something so we'll call this a partial list.

With Katie in my life I know I've changed because I feel it. I know I've grown up. I'm in a place now I didn't expect to be when I was a kid and I enjoy it. I have a support system and love and it's unexplainable in a list.

Without Katie... well, that would just suck.

To better and further sum this up:

The San Jose Sharks game is on, and I didn't even ask...

Man holds one job a week for one year

2011-10-20T20:40:00.000-07:00

I dreamt this last night.

October 20, 2011
West Sacramento, CA

-Frustrated by his inability to find a career, a West Sacramento, CA resident embarked on a year long mission. His goal: work 52 different jobs, one week at a time for an entire year.

Nick Houser didn't find his passion until turning 26, 4 years removed from college. His dream was to be a comedy writer for a hit NBC television show, or better, act in one. Unfortunately Houser was hit, like many, by a terrible economy, the inability to start over, and fear. So he accepted the idea of finding something else.

"I can't afford to just move to L.A. and struggle as an actor for eight years. I'm probably not funny enough to write anyway. I figured it was time to get realistic and accept my fate," said Houser.

But what would or could he move on to next?

"I had literally no idea what to do. So I thought, why not try it all?" he said.

Houser ended up pitching his idea to a friend. The friend knew a friend, who knew a friend, and Houser was contacted to be followed throughout the course of his adventure.

Now with support from numerous local temporary job agencies, Houser has lined up months worth of jobs. From hands on farm work to teaching high school math, Houser will tackle construction, working with the elderly, children, and the disabled, partnering with businesses, pitching products, and much, much more. The tricky part was getting corporations on board.

"Obviously we'd like to have part-timers stay longer than a week," said Lucky Mann, owner of Lucky's High Tops, Barstools, and Firepit. "It's an interesting opportunity as an employer to gain exposure, and in the world of social media, one week can be huge for us." Mann will allow Houser to work in the culinary industry as a chef.

As for Nick Houser's opportunity, he had this to say:

"I'm definitely very excited. No one gets this opportunity, unless they get fired of course. But to be able to do this and have the support, and have 52 companies allowing me to take a shot for a week at a time, it will really help me find myself. That's going to be awesome."

High School Spotlight: Hasan Minhaj

2011-10-10T18:46:00.000-07:00

Between 2001 and 2003, Hasan Minhaj didn't win the yearbook award, "Most Changed in Three Years." In fact, he didn't win any awards. He wasn't a football superstar. And he never took a theatre class.

Looking back, Hasan Minhaj was, well... just Hasan. You knew the guy. You liked the guy. Quiet and smart on the outside, witty and friendly within his circle of peers. President of the the Future Business Leaders, member of Kiwanis, the Academic Decathalon, and Peer Helpers.

Perhaps it's now he deserves recognition for "Most Changed"?

It's been seven years since high school. Hasan Minhaj isn't a doctor. He's not a teacher. He's not into politics or architecture. He's still not a football superstar. Nope. Hasan Minhaj is a comedian. Seriously.

After high school, Hasan enrolled in UC Davis. He studied medicine, hoping to shine as a doctor like his parents wanted. But something happened his freshman year. Something that changed his life forever.

Minding his own business while waiting for a friend to get ready, he took a seat on the couch. On the television was a stand up comedy special. A common occurence for most of us, Hasan saw it differently.

"I saw a standup special at a friend's place, thought it was really cool, gave it a try and stuck with it," he said. And by sticking with it, Hasan Minhaj landed himself the role of Seth on "State of Georgia" starring Raven Symone.

After that fateful day at his buddy's, Hasan phoned the local comedy club asking for a time slot. He was told he needed experience and head shots first, so he immediately explored open mic opportunities all over Sacramento and San Francisco. Check out the video below to hear Hasan speak about his first phone call.

With a degree and experience in hand, Hasan moved to San Francisco to hone his craft. Once comfortable with his talents, he was ready for a bigger challenge.

"After about a year or so I moved to LA and landed a showcase for NBC. Since then, things have been pretty good for me," says Hasan.

NBC later added him to the National College Touring Company where he spent two years traveling to campuses all over the nation to perform. In addition to his role on "State of Georgia", Hasan is a member of the MTV prank show, "Disaster Date."

Though he's on his way to stardom, he still finds time to connect with former Blue Devils.

"[Andrew Behrens and I] have known each other since pre-school and [today] we make short films together," he says. "I'd love to see more people from DHS."

As for a final thought, Hasan Minhaj had this to offer:

"I found a passion and a career path that I was willing to go all in for. I figured I started early enough, if I just stick with it, I'll find my way."

That or, he'll "go to law school in hopes of relinquishing his dignity and parents' love."

Congratulations Hasan, and here's to a successful career. Break a leg friend.

For more information on Hasan, check out his website, Hasanminhaj.com

Caption Play: Abu the Fatty

2011-10-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

Here's another for your entertainment

"Buddha's got nothin' on my Bubu belly."

"Oh, me so hungry! Me hungry long time!"

"Hey, ow you doin?"

"I own this stud muffin."

"You talkin to me? ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?"

"I'm sexy and I know it."

"GET IN MY BELLY!!!"

"We've got ourselves a situation."

"Drop it drop it drop it low."

"Did Buddha believe in reincarnation?"

"Sup baby"

"How low can you go? Can you go down low? All the way to the..ah, crap. Stuck."

"98. 99. Aggghhhhh 100!"

"Oh don't act like you're not impressed."

And the winner...

"I work out."

Caption Play: Abu in the Shower

2011-10-04T20:34:00.000-07:00

Asked for some captions for the picture below, here's what I got:

"A little privacy please!"

"Can someone bring me the bubble bath?"

"Want to join me? Plenty of room!"

"I gave up trying to turn the water on."

"I find air drying to be better for my skin than towel drying."

"Please, like the bathroom isn't where you do your best thinking too."

"Shh...I'm playing hide and go seek with the dogs."

"I called dibs on the first shower!"

AND THE WINNER...

"What? How else do you think I always smell so sexy???"

Movie Reviews - Sept 2011

2011-09-29T20:13:00.000-07:00

Movies: The Lincoln Lawyer, Bridesmaids, Inglorious Bastards

Title: The Lincoln Lawyer
Release Date: 2011
Run Time: 119 minutes

Plot: Tasked with defending rich lothario Louis Roulet (Ryan Phillippe), who's been charged with assault, lawyer Mick Haller (Matthew MacConaughey) finds himself and his family in danger when he deduces the truth behind this and former cases he's worked on.

Review: Even though MacConaughey uses the same dialect in every movie and it doesn't seem to bother me, for some reason it does in this one. The thing is, this might be the only movie he's supposed to use the Southern draw swagger thing. Either way, the story was decent. Nothing really wow-ing here. It has kind of a Primal Fear feel to it, obviously less crazy.

Rating: 3 stars. Your call if you want to catch it.

Name: Bridesmaids
Release Date: 2011
Run Time: 125 minutes

Plot: Named her best friend's maid of honor, down-on-her-luck Annie's competition with a fellow bridesmaid, the wealthy and beautiful Helen, threatens to destroy the wedding. Meanwhile, a local cop takes a liking to Annie.

Review: This may be one of Katie's favorites of all time. However for me, I didn't find it that funny. Maybe it's girl humor. It's definitely crude humor. There's funny parts for sure, but there weren't enough to keep me entertained. And the typical plot of things getting worse before getting better, went one or two steps too far into the worse before barely coming back to better. It was just laid on too thick.

Rating: 2.5 Stars. I wouldn't suggest it.

Name: Inglorious Bastards
Release Date: 2009
Run Time: 153 minutes

Plot: A Jewish cinema owner (Mélanie Laurent) in occupied Paris is forced to host a Nazi movie premiere, where a radical group of American Jewish soldiers called the Basterds, led by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt), plans to roll out a score-settling scheme. The face-off is about to go down -- that's if Col. Hans Landa aka "The Jew Hunter" (Christoph Waltz, in an Oscar-winning role) doesn't get in the way. Quentin Tarantino directs this World War II-set spaghetti Western.

Review: I actually had pretty high expectations for this one and it started out pretty promising. I lost focus pretty quick though. There's a bit of a twist at the end, but not one worth waiting 2 hours and 20 minutes for. Like all movies, my favorite guy dies, so that's a bummer. But then again, it's a Quentin Tarantino movie, so everyone dies (nearly). Not Brad Pitt's best. Historically inaccurate, but it doesn't claim to be either. It had a decent story, I just think the length killed it for me. That, and I hated Pitt's accent.

Rating: 2.5 Stars. You can skip it.

"Hall of Game": Board Games

2011-09-25T12:37:00.000-07:00

Heard on the Carmichael Dave Show of all places a discussion about a "Hall of Game", a Hall of Fame for the most popular, well-known, and culture-changing games. Their discussion included games such as World of Warcraft but I kept it to board games only and surveyed 40 people.
Here's what I got:

Each receiving one vote -
Trivial Pursuit
Would You Rather? Malarky
Pictionary
Guess Who?
Sequence
Stratego
Connect Four
Checkers/Chess
Cribbage
Trouble

I'm really surprised most of these only got one vote. Guess Who? is a legit game. Stratego is very much underrated (where's Risk by the way?) and Chess/Checkers are the Babe Ruth of board games in the Hall of Fame.

10. Battleship
I can see this on a top ten list for sure. It's fun, it can eat up a lot of minutes and when you get flashes of quick finishes, it feels good.

9. Chutes and Ladders
Personally not much of a fan only because I HATE getting to step 77 and having to slide all the way back down to 23 and it happens every single time! Not much rocket science to it though if you're looking for one to play with the kiddos.

8. Candy Land
Essentially it's just like Chutes and Ladders except replace the chutes, ladders, and snakes in some versions with lollipops and ice cream cones. I bet anti-obesity campaigns hate this game. First one to Belly Ache village wins!

7. LIFE
Disappointed this isn't higher. This has everything for both kids and adults. Easy to understand, numerous aspects; marriage, college, jobs, salary, life tiles, retirement, it's exactly like life. Though it is presumptious that life happens in a particular order everytime you play no matter what color your car is. Then bust out the Pirates of the Caribbean and Harry Potter versions and you get a bit of variety in your LIFE.

6. Sorry!
Another classic that needs to be moved up. Next time you play, count how many times people actually says "sorry" whether intentional or not, with sarcasm or without. The game is cutthroat and each time people come into it so concerned about the others. "I won't get you I swear." LIAR! Also watch as the amount of force people slowly begin to add as they SORRY! your piece out of their new spot.

5. Clue
As a kid I remember these games taking a little while and really putting my mind to work. As an adult, with about six players, the answer becomes clear in about three turns. Much better as a kid, but still a classic, typically first game ever owned, type. It did even have a movie (a terrible one) and a television show for kids, so that's something.

4. Yahtzee
Though not necessarily a "board" I accepted this one because of the overwhelming response for it. Just like gambling, this dice game brings hard luck and sudden excitement in each game. Fun for all ages (I've played it with 90-year olds)! You have to figure Bunco owes its life in part to Yahtzee.

3. Apples to Apples
What? So early? Fact. This game is simply the best out there right now. There's hundreds of cards so it's different every time. Get the right group together, add some drinks, and A2A is unbeatable. Playing for a short duration is impossible.

2. Scrabble
On here because it's a classic, not because it's fun. The same reason Words with Friends was fun for about two months: beating your friends in a game over who can use the English language more creatively is a blast until you start playing the same people over and over with the same words. You can only do so much.

1. Monopoly
Another game on here due to its classicness. Honestly, who likes Monopoly? No one! Better question, who has actually finished an entire game, playing by the exact rules on the instructions? I'll wait. BETTER QUESTION: Who actually knows the exact rules written on the instructions? I read them the other day and was confused. The JR. version is fun, but embarassing as an adult. And no gimmicky Star Wars, Spongebob version makes it an easier. It's like LIFE but a lot less fun. Pay rent, lose money, overpay for property, pay taxes, get hit with fines, and go to jail. Yippee!

Movie Review: Moneyball

2011-09-24T17:10:00.000-07:00

If there was ever a movie to challenge for greatest baseball movie of all time, Moneyball may be it; and it's not even about baseball. Moneyball is about a system; it's a biography of the man that implemented that system. Baseball just serves as the backdrop. The A's just happened to be the team.

The film chronicles Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) as he changes the landscape of baseball forever, seeking innovative ways to build a team with no budget. Beane, a former player himself, is as passionate about the game as a new draft pick out of high school; something Pitt displays masterfully. It's dramatic, it's funny, it's real.

Non-fans of Billy Beane may not find a new love for the man, but Pitt's performance as the A's General Manager in Moneyball makes you at least respect him a bit more. Year after year we watch as Oakland's puppet master pull strings on jaw-dropping trades, sending fan favorites to bigger market teams and we flinch. Moneyball shows the passionate side of Beane, driven by satisfying fans with nothing less than a World Series win.

Maybe it's not easily seen in 2011, but his efforts, at least from 2001-2004, should be applauded. Moneyballgives an inside look at the creativity needed to compete with the large market, big budget superpowers.

There's just a couple of problems with the notion (and movie) of Moneyball. On base percentage is all fine and dandy. No bunting and stealing? From 2009 to now, the A's have made a return to small(er) ball, and it's worked out. The movie ends with Billy Beane turning down a $12.5 million offer from the Red Sox that would have made him the highest paid general manager in all of sports. Then the Red Sox win the World Series using Beane's system anyway...supposedly. I do wonder what the A's would be like today had he accepted. On the other, the fact he declined so as to "never make decisions based on money again" thoroughly impressed me.

Here's the thing: when you can only pay $275,000, you can only get a 36-year old banged up right fielder on his last leg with a .364 on base percentage. When you (the Red Sox) can pay 2.5 million for a guy with a .457 OBP and four years left in the tank, it works out a bit better. And like my brother-in-law says often, "Having two men on is great but when you sit around and wait for the three-run bomb, you need players that can hit 30-plus."

The most interesting aspect of the film is that throughout it preaches to "not romanticize the game" yet spends two-plus hours romanticizing the game. And it does so wonderfully. There were times the audience laughed (mostly because of Jonah Hill who as a bumbling, nervous kid-genius delivers some of the funniest lines and moments), there were times we (okay, me) wanted to cry. And there was a massive amount of goosebumps from this A's fan throughout.

As an A's fan, it was fun to re-live the good times. It was re-energizing (at least for one more year). Most of all, it was eye-opening. My impression we'd never have good players because every time they become recognized in a national spotlight, they're traded, is actually wrong. The fact it, it's necessary. The A's can't afford superstars, at least not while they're in Oakland. Each year we trade one for three young guys, trying to catch lightning in a bottle. Who knows, the Rays did it in 2008.

Minus the quickness of jumping from one scene to the next (20-game streak to ALDS 2002 in about 12 seconds) it's a terrific movie. Good for baseball, great for A's fans. It's not quite as emotional and heartwarming, but it might be Brad Pitt's The Blind Side.

Family is a Relative term

2011-09-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

I have trouble with family titles. Well, I have trouble with family period, but that's besides the point. It's odd really.

Example one: My brothers and sisters. Technically they're all half-siblings. Technically I'm an only child. "Half" brothers and sisters? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. None of them have been half anything. They've always been full to me. But it does complicate things, as you'll see in the next example. So far I have halves that I call wholes.

Example two: My dad's first wife, mother to my "half" siblings. She was never my stepmom. Technically she isn't related to me. But to describe her is to tell the story of a stepmom. But she was always a bit more than that. Now I'm giving a non-titled member a title. And it gets worse...

Example three: My dad's first wife's family and hence, my brother's and sister's family. They're not really my cousins, aunts, and uncles. Oh but, they really are. My actual non-relation "cousin" is one of my favorite cousins in the world! Weird, right? Now definite non-blood extensions are getting family titles.

Example four: Katie's family. And here is where I really struggle (no offense to any of them, they're all absolutely fantastic). I understand when two people get married, two families join together. But a few things have happened in the past, oh say, year that made me double take; occurrences that have really wrinkled my brain.
Example four-one: My nieces and nephews became Katie's nieces and nephews. It's still a bit weird to hear them call her Aunt Katie. Though, my aunt's husband, whom I call uncle, married in.
Example four-two: Her cousins are my cousins. It struck me by surprise when Katie's cousin added me on Facebook to her family section, listed as a cousin. Then I didn't know what to say to a friend when we went to babysit her littler cousins. (See, I just did it again. Her cousins. Oops!)
Example four-three: I call her parents, her parents. And maybe that's because "in-laws" is just a funny sounding word in the first place. Same goes for her brother and sister. Weird to hear her brother's new bride tell me, "So I guess you're my brother now?"
Example four-four: I call my wife by her maiden name ALL THE TIME. This offends her. Not because I don't accept her. It's more because as a man, I don't want some dude to come steal my daughter away and change her name. Because to me, it's superficial. Deep down, she'll always be a(n) [insert my family's last name].

Family or not, technical or not, halfs, wholes, and marriage-born, they're a legit support system and I love them all to death.

It's a silly practice, this I know. One I'm trying hard to break. Ultimately all I'm saying is after two years of marriage I'm still getting used to the marriage glossary, especially after the terms I grew up with are all... relative.

The American Dream = Move in and change it

2011-09-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

I get that the United States is the land of the free and people from all over the world come here to escape prosecution and harsh conditions. I get it. I do. But our country has gone soft people. Name another country you can move to and then demand they change the way they practice religion and culture.

Move to London and complain about 2p.m. tea time.

Move to Syria and tell them you are offended at how and when and who they pray to.

Move to Lebanon and demand every sign be translated, visibly, in English.

It won't be done. There is no other country on Earth that Americans can move into and change because we don't like it. But that's what America has become. "The Land of the Free" has been taken to the extreme... it's now "The Land That Can Be Changed."

Maybe I should be happy that we live in a free enough society that we can change without fear. There's many benefits to melting pots. We're cultured. We're diversified. But it bugs me when people cry about "Under God" being on money and in the Pledge of Allegiance. Fine! Don't pledge your allegiance to this country then. Move out if you don't like it. Stop using money too while you're at it since it's SOOOOOOO offensive. Please.

Maybe I sound ignorant. Do call me out if I am. Point out how my thinking is wrong, seriously. I'm just finding it hard to figoure out what our country stands for when everything we do gets changed because one person doesn't like it, then they convince friends, then they form a group, and it becomes a movement, and next thing you know all of the things this country was built on are gone.

It was brought to my attention we do actually do this to other countries. We storm the Middle East and tell them they can't lead their people this way, make them stop with force, then institute our way. Sometimes we succeed in getting threats out, sometimes we muff the punt.

All I'm saying is, if we're going to be the emo kid of the world, then we need to advertise that a little more clearly.

"America: United to be different; because fitting in is for losers."

Husbands: It's 9am, do you know where your stay at home wife is?

2011-09-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

Went into work a little late today; gave me the chance to grab coffee with my wife.
Boy was it an experience

I've heard the joke before, but apparently didn't realize.

It's 9am at Starbuck's and there must be at least eight housewives in here.

The scary thing is, they all know each other.

It's like an exclusive club

We spent about 15-20 minutes and more and more kept filtering in and out. Each time, they all said hello to each other, asked about the children, talked about the gym... and each time they drove away in their pimped out suburbans.

It's like an underground clique. There could be an uprising brewing here men! They could be a mini mafia.

Weird thing is, my wife knew at least half of them

The Illusion of a "Dream" Job

2011-09-12T19:32:00.000-07:00

Am I getting screwed out of my dream job, or am I just delusional that one even exists at all?

I'm 26; four years removed from college. I'm disappointed and skeptical about the worth of my degree. After eight years of working in after-school programs, I'm feeling burnt out. Don't get me wrong, I like what I do. I'm not saying I'm disgruntled where I'm at now. It's just coming up on time to do something else. I've enjoyed the experiences and I'm pretty sure I'll be a fantastic father because of the last near decade. But it's time for a big boy job.

It's time for a career.

I recently found out I love to write. I enjoy stories and storytelling. Okay, I knew this already, but didn't realize it as a potential career. The creativity that flows from my brain is uncanny.
Everything is a story waiting to be told.

So now it's about turning passion into career.

The trouble is, the economy sucks. That, and I'm not so young anymore. Caught in a rough spot, the only jobs I see down the path I want to take require five-plus years of experience; even the entry-level jobs. My other option is taking internships. The problem of course is most require me to be in school, which I am not. The opportunities I do find are typically unpaid, which at this point I can't afford. I have a wife, a mortgage, and saving to do for future kiddos.
Where's the in between?

By the time the economy turns around and jobs return, will it be too late? I fear I will be 32 trying to get my foot in the door of advertising or copywriting, competing with 23 year old, recent graduates. And it's not going to be just them. It's the unemployed, the part-timers, and freelancers too. All vying for the same position. The graduates will have the most recent education and innovative ideas. The part-time and freelance folks have had a connection with the company for the last six years!

See, I'm an old school cat.
People say your work shouldn't define your life.
Why not?

I want to apply what I'm good at in life to my work. I want to tell people confidently and with pride what I do. I don't mind at all if my career in some ways defines the person I am.
One more thing: a lot of people work a job knowing deep down they'll start looking in five years. Me, I want to be like my grandparents or (some) of our parents. I want to dig in deep and contribute somewhere my entire life, or at least just a few places for 15 years each.
Why not?

But it gets worse...
Here's the materialistic and selfish part of me I'm going to share with you:
In addition to wanting a career I love, I want something unique and wow-ing. I want my wife to be able to say, "My husband does A" and be proud of it while dazzling people.
"My husband wrote a novel." Boom!
"My husband is a copywriter for Nike." BOOM!
"My husband blogs for [insert uber-professional organization]" BOOOOOM!!!

I don't want to simply settle for something that pays the bills, something anyone could do..

Yes, I need to check myself. Honestly though, is desiring an amazing career, doing something I love that bad?

I'd be loads happier just knowing what I was meant to do.
I ask people all the time, "When did you figure out what you wanted to do the rest of your life?" and "How did you know?" Not many have been able to answer me.
This depresses me a bit.

Are dream jobs dead?
Has our society evolved to be content switching jobs every few years? Will I one day have to tell my children, "ditch your dreams kid, and find a job that gets you by"?

Or did dream jobs never exist in the first place?
More than anything else, I hear most often that it's different when the thing you love is your job. Because in the end...
They call it work for a reason.

I still say BRING IT!

Note: My wife is afraid my employer will come across this and be upset assuming I'm trashing the company, ungrateful, etc. She also thinks prospective employers may come across this opinion piece and hesitate. Well, to that I say (first valid point but second...) this is just an opinion of where my life is and where I want my life to be and how I think about jobs versus careers. No disrespect to the place I work now. I think it's fair to say it's not my dream job. I've always said I won't have kids until I'm done working with kids. Well, I'm almost ready for kids. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop doing my work, no no, not at all. I will continue working hard, I just won't be there forever. When I exit (and who knows when that is) it will be from childcare all together. For future employers, this shouldn't be scary. This should simply show my passion and commitment toward doing something I love.

"Just so you know, I pass out."

2011-09-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

I took Katie with me to the doctor's office because I had to have blood taken. A simple procedure for most, these things are usually half day adventures for me that require a backroom, juice, and a driver. This day would be no different. In fact, it would be (to Katie) worse (to you and me, hilarious).

I spent the entire drive to Point West prepping Katie.

"Just so you know, I pass out." She shook her head in disbelief.

Like I always do, I inform the nurse at the counter I required the backroom. Katie chuckled to herself. "Are you for real?" she asked.

Male nurse walks in and I give him the run down: don't talk to me about what you're doing, don't tell me when you're beginning or done, distract me with anything else. Afterwards, I need to lay down. I'll probably pass out but it's not big deal, I do it all the time. When I wake up, if you have juice, I'll need it. Katie smirks and the nurse proceeds.

As Katie and I sit there, anticipating my guaranteed blackout, we chat about what will inevitably happen. She asks what it feels and looks like so she can be ready, so I start...

"Well, first I feel kind of dizzy. Then my hearing goes a bit fuzzy and my vision starts turning black. And then I can actually feel myself turning pale. It's like right before it happens it feels... it feels..."

"Like what?"

"Like... like this..."

"Like what?"

At this point, my eyes roll into the back of my head, my skin turns flush, and my body slumps backwards, banging my head into some kind of wall unit.

What feels like mere seconds later I open my eyes. I'm laying on my side. There's tons of commotion but I can't quite make it out for a few more seconds. Then I see Katie, tears in her eyes. With her are three or four more people; doctors and nurses. I realize there's an overhead speaker going off.

"Code Blue, Labratory. Code Blue, Labratory."

Just then firefighters come running in...

"Where's the code blue?" they ask frantically. The nurse who originally checked me, now incredibly embarassed, points toward me.

"I'm sorry, I hit the wrong button."

At this point I'm almost laughing. Katie however, is not. And neither are any of the patients waiting in the lounge, the doctors, or the firemen.

The next time we had to go, the nurse administered the needle and left the room. Katie promptly put me in a lifeguard hold to keep me from hitting my head again.

And to think... she thought I was kidding around...

Mad fascination with 'Mad Men'

2011-09-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

After finishing our 100 Greatest Films Project we began parusing Netflix for something new. That something new? AMC's Mad Men. I've heard only a certain type of people watch the show, a snootier, cliquier kind of people. Well, snooty or not, add me to that bandwagon. Four seasons and 52 episodes later, we went from hooked to caught up in two weeks. This show is amazing.

The Premise:

Don Draper is a creative director for a New York advertising agency in the late 50s - early 60s. He seems to have it all: a wife and kids, an awesome job, power, respect, money, women throwing themselves at him daily. And deep inner struggle increased by a dark, shady past.

I love this television show for a multitude of reasons. The time period is incredibly interesting. It's a time we grew up with thinking it was millions of Beaver Cleaver families, and the Drapers seemed to have started out this way. But you see the 60s beginning to set in, times beginning to change drastically. And then as a bonus, the show walks you through major events in Forrest Gump like fashion. There's an episode when some young newcomer named Kennedy wins the presidency. There's an episode when Marilyn Monroe passes. To see the characters' reactions and emotions to these events is almost mind-boggling. I found myself asking, "Did they really feel that way, did they really do that?" Put this into perspective, our parents (if you're 22-30 range) are the Draper children in this show. Imagine that.

Second, I love the characters. Don Draper is suave and respected. There's a lot about him I wish I had in me (not all of it though). I find myself loving to hate Pete Campbell. I (in seasons 1-3) loved Roger Sterling, he's hilarious and awkwardly sarcastic. Joan is gorgeous. It's fun to imagine men talking to Katie the way the men talk to Joan (Katie would knife someone). It took some time, but Peggy grew on me... she's so creative, a real go-getter, and one of the only female characters who holds her own. Ken Cosgrove reminds me a bit of how I want to be; he's not necessarily the brightest tool in the shed, but he just loves life and doesn't let things get him down.

Last, the drama. The spoiler section will be below but I can say, there's always something but without too much. In Entourage, there was always something, but it was too much. There would be an up for one episode, then a down for seven. Or an up at the beginning and a down the other 24 minutes. In Mad Men, it's a good mix. Don screws up in half an episode, but fixes it and moves on. Sometimes it comes back later. Sometimes it doesn't. The writing continually has me guessing. Granted, sometimes I'm disappointed, sometimes I'm relieved, but I haven't been bored yet.. in 52 episodes.

And if my excitement hasn't gotten you excited about it too, try this:

::SPOILER SECTION::,

I've watched all four seasons now, I'm all caught up. For those who have seen it, I thought I'd share my thoughts, compare and contrast notes so to say, while I wait until 2012 for Season 5.

Don Draper - The only thing I'm really not liking about the character is the messing around. Season 1, I get it. The hippie chick in the beginning and the shop owner's daughter, fine. But the comedian's wife? And to keep going after Betty finds out?! I think I finally gave up on hoping he would change when he slept with the teacher. I really thought he was on to something with the blond psychologist, Faye, until he decided to sleep with his secretary and propose to her. The end of Season Four killed me. It's like a trainwreck.

Betty - Season One, I was in love with her. She's so cute and seemingly perfect. Season Two, she's got issues, rightfully so. Season Three, she's falling out of my favor. She is selfish and overreacts. Season Four, she marries Henry Francis and continues to be a bitch. And now she's lost to me. Complete swing, went from loving her to despising her. Don's right, she is a child.

Peggy - Hated her at first. She was ugly and frumpy. I didn't see her as a major character and didn't really understand her. She was seemingly sweet and innocent, didn't want to believe she would sleep her way to a better position (which ultimately she didn't) but was disappointed when she slept with Pete Campbell. Disappointed when she got pregnant and basically ditched it. But I like where she's at now. She's pretty powerful, one of the first girls in the office to have any real power. She drinks with the guys, does fantastic work, and holds her ground. The Pete Campbell baby storyline sure got dropped fast though, didn't it?

Pete Campbell - In four seasons, I still don't like this guy. I don't take him seriously. He's whiny. And he thinks he is tough. That is all.

Joan Harris - Probably the hardest worker in the office. She basically runs the place without the credit. And she's gorgeous! I always feel bad for her. She constantly gets the shit end of the stick (walked all over, husband joins the Army, preganant, etc.), yet keeps pushing on with a smile. It's admirable.

Roger Sterling - I liked him at first because he was cocky, funny, and sarcastic. But it wore out on me. Now I see he's lazy, a liar, and a con. His work ethic is non-existent and he doesn't respect anyone. I kind of want to see Don hit him in the mouth.

Supporting Cast - Ken Cosgrove is my favorite character. So easy-going. I could do without Harry Crane. He seems like a non-factor. I enjoyed the character of Salvatore (yes, the gay guy). He was funny, did good work, and portrayed a lot of inner, hidden struggle. I wanted to see all of that angle play out but instead he was written off. Boo!

Angles I wish never happened:
- Joan gets married. At least not to this Greg guy. He's a whiny baby.
- The entire Duck Phillips angle. ESPECIALLY Peggy sleeping with him.
- Don Draper sticks with Dr. Faye Miller. She was so good to him and good for him. But he drops her like a bad habit and proposes out of the blue to his secretary. Ok Roger!!
- Betty never gets married to Henry Francis. The guy is good but for some unexplainable reason I hate this marriage.
- I still don't understand what went down with the Hilton angle. Anyone?

The Houser Project Pt. 5: #10-1

2011-09-03T14:49:00.000-07:00

After nearly two years, we've reached the end; the top ten. Two years, one hundred movies. Some great, some bad, some absolutely terrible. In case you missed it, here is part one, two, three, and four. And now for the final bunch, the top ten greatest films of all-time... supposedly.

#10 - The Wizard of Oz
(27, 7)
A timeless fantasy classic, how could you not enjoy this movie? Between the journey, the characters, the lasting affect on pop culture today, it's an obvious choice for the top ten.

#9 - Vertigo
(37, 18)
Another classic Hitchcock film with dizzying effects, characters dripping with emotion and inner-struggle, and a deeply twisted ending. You can see Hitchcock's influence on directors today, especially in Vertigo.

#8 - Schindler's List
(22, 6)
Perhaps the most powerful WWII/Holocaust film ever made: disgusting, sad, triumphant, and uplifting all in one.

#7 - Lawrence of Arabia
(68, 31)
A Ben-Hur/Spartacus feel but without the ability to deliver as well. Tons of religious undertones (we think) likening Lawrence to Jesus. The idea was pleasant, a Brit freeing the Arab world. Whether the beginning of the movie was the end or a foreshadow or the end foreshadowed the beginning... doesn't matter... we didn't like either. 3.5

#6 - Gone with the Wind
(10, 27)
Way too long and Scarlett O'Hara made me want to kick a puppy. She deserved way more than one of the most famous movie lines of all-time.

#5 - Singin' in the Rain
(6, 10)
Nick went into this movie thinking it'd be the next overrated chick flick musical (ie: Sound of Music). Chick flick? Yes. Musical? Yes. Overrated? No. It was actually cute, clever, and more than bearable.

#4 - Raging Bull
(70, 66)
The complete and utter self-destruction of one man who has so much talent and ruins it with so much anger and paranoia. For being the 4th best movie of all-time, we didn't care for it at all. It was demented and kind of disgusting.

#3 - Casablanca
(23, 22)
Nick might be the only human on Earth who thinks Humphrey Bogart is overrated. That being said, CB is easily his best film. The quotable quotes alone put CB in the top 10. Either way, we dug the story, acting, ending, etc.

#2 - The Godfather
(19, 8)
We're not sure if it's Marlon Brando's portrayal of the Godfather or the cultural impact it's had since debuting that got it on the list, but it's both combined that put it number two.

#1 - Citizen Kane
(26, 19)
It is incredibly easy to see why this movie is number one from a directorial/cinematic point of view. The shots, angles, scenes, pullbacks, etc. etc. etc. for the time were all quite remarkable and fresh. The story of the rich man who never wanted money and just wanted love intrigued us.

Breakdown:
= 57 are worth catching
= 27 should be ignored
= 16 are your choice

Biggest Difference = Lawrence of Arabia (37)
Biggest Surprise Catch = Singin' in the Rain/Schindler's List
Best Performance = Marlon Brano as The Godfather
Best Character = The Lion from the Wizard of Oz

And lastly... to end with a recap, our individual top ten favorites and least favorites:

Katie:
100. Intolerance
99. Do the Right Thing
98. Duck Soup
97. Blade Runner
96. City Lights
95. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
94. Night at the Opera
93. The Last Picture Show
92. The French Connection
91. Bringing Up Baby
90. Swing Time

10. Gone with the Wind
9. It's a Wonderful Life
8. To Kill a Mockingbird
7. The Deer Hunter
6. Singin' in the Rain
5. Raiders of the Lost Ark
4. Shawshank Redemption
3. Forrest Gump
2. Saving Private Ryan
1. Sound of Music

Nick
100. Intolerance
99. Duck Soup
98. Do the Right Thing
97. Night at the Opera
96. Cabaret
95. A Clockwork Orange
94. City Lights
93. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
92. 2001: A Space Odyssey
91. Mightnight Cowboy
90. The Gold Rush

10. Singin' in the Rain
9. Jaws
8. The Godfather
7. Wizard of Oz
6. Schindler's List
5. Goodfellas
4. Star Wars: A New Hope
3. The Shawshank Redemption
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark
1. Saving Private Ryan

What's next?
In 1997, AFI produced a first draft. We watched the 2007 updated version which replaced 23 movies. Maybe we'll tackle those next. Or maybe we'll take on AFI's Top Ten lists? But for now we've gotten sidetracked on Mad Men.

The Houser Project Pt. 4: #25-11

2011-08-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

We're 3/4s of the way posted. If you missed any of it, here's part one, part two, and part three. 75 movie ratings! And here's 15 more...

I decided to post the top 10 as its own post. I think by now you understand the rating system if you've been following. If not, you'll probably catch on.

American Film Institute's 100 Greatest Films of All-Time (25-11):
(Titles linked to trailers)

25. To Kill a Mockingbird
(8, 17)
Atticus Finch is the best movie character, father, lawyer, southerner, human rights activist of ALL-TIME. Period.

24. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
(33, 59)
The alien movie is cute, funny, and classic.

23. The Grapes of Wrath
(63, 70)
Dust Bowl/Depression movie is waaaay better than the book! No every other chapter about a turtle.

22. Some Like It Hot
(41, 33)
Marilyn Monroe was a sex symbol in her day? Uhm, yes. Fact.

21. Chinatown
(40, 43)
Was loving this private detective uncovering a nasty scheme movie until the last 5 minutes. Worst. ending. ever.

20. It's a Wonderful Life
(9, 41)
Your life is never that bad. Message received.

19. On the Waterfront
(60, 40)
Brando battles corrupt union bosses. What a BA.

18. The General
(82, 73)
Silent comedy about a Southerner during the Civil War successfully deterring the North. Funny, but uhm.. the North won in real life.

17. The Graduate
(61, 47)
Nick liked it because he connected. It annoyed Katie a bit.

16. Sunset Boulevard
(65, 57)
We can see this as an accurate insight to Hollywood, crazy Hollywood.

15. 2001: A Space Odyssey
(78, 92)
It's eery how a film made pre-moon landing accurately portrays space travel and computer systems. We get the message, but the movie still annoyed us.

14. Psycho TWICE!
(11, 20)
Watch it once, it's kind of odd. Watch it twice and there's a whole new level of creepiness.

13. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
(14, 4)
If you haven't seen this by now you're being a rebel for no reason.

12. The Searchers
(81, 74)
Our first John Wayne movie: He was a jerk and the movie was harsh.

11. City Lights
(96, 94)
The final Charlie Chaplin movie... maybe for good reason...

Breakdown:
= 49
= 27
= 14

Biggest difference = It's a Wonderful Life (32)
Biggest Surprise Catch = Some Like it Hot
Best Performance - Anthony Perkins in Psycho
Best Character (not named Han Solo) = Atticus Finch